𝐌𝐀𝐅𝐈𝐀 | 𝐉.𝐉𝐊 × 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 31 - 𝐇𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲

She didn't want to give me an answer. I just suddenly felt my back touch the mattress, while she got on top of me. "Y/n—" I couldn't even finish, I felt a sudden wave of pleasure rush inside my body as her lips came in contact with me, while she pressed her crotch right on mine.

I slightly parted my lips and let out a moan. I didn't expect this rush of things going inside me. I gripped her hips and slightly dug my fingers into her flesh. It was the first time I was so flustered and felt so much things. I didn't know how to describe them, but I felt way too good for my own health.

"Wait—" She wouldn't let me talk. Her lips cut me off once again, while she slowly moved against me, expressing really good what she wanted from me.

I couldn't stop gripping her hips harshly and follow the movements of them. I didn't want it to stop, but we weren't supposed to do that. It felt so right, but wrong at the same time, which was so exciting.

I put my hand around her throat and gently pulled away. "Y/n," I caught my breath."I don't know what it is that you want," I knew really well. "But we can't."

"Why not?" She softly said, still moving her hips, slowly, back and forth, just the way I liked it.

I lightly tighten my hand around her throat and gripped her hip with my left hand. "Stop." I tightened my jaw, finding it hard to resist her.

She teasingly smiled. "It just makes me want to do the opposite, when you're being like that."

"Stop being a brat and listen to me for fuck's sake, Y/n." I tried calming down, because my dick was hard as fuck and my heart was still beating so fast. "I cannot. We cannot. You're injured and I don't want to do it. Not like that and not now."

"I don't get it. Isn't that what you wanted from me?" Her tone was more serious. She sounded confused and sad. I didn't know, but I knew that I didn't like what she just said.

"What do you take me for?" I let go of her and looked at her with a serious expression. "I mean I know what you take me for, but I cannot do that to you. And it's my fault, I gave you this image of myself. Of course, I won't lie. You're fucking attractive and I'd love fucking you, but not like this."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"I want you, but not like this, not now. I want to be patient with you and actually build something real and honest and show you that I actually care about you and not only because I want to have sex with you."

She didn't answer, but only looked at me. I kept going. "Fuck. Y/n," I heavily sighed. "You cannot just give yourself to someone like that. It's not healthy for yourself."

"Why do you care? When did you start caring and what do you mean with building something real and honest? I don't fucking get it."

"Do you really think I wouldn't care about you? I stayed with you the whole time when you felt like shit after your brother situation and when you got shot, because of me. Do you really think I don't care about you?" I nervously chuckled. "You have no idea how much you're invading my fucking mind all the damn time. I had to fuck Ivy and it did not even fucking work and on top of that, you had to see that. Damn Y/n, be fucking for real right now. I fucking like you and you cannot even see that." I threw my head back, feeling tired. I felt like I was talking to a wall.

"How was I supposed to see it?"

"I don't know. Read my fucking mind." I rolled my eyes. "I just really, really like you. I don't know why, I just do. I can't change it and I won't have sex with you. I won't." I shook my head, convincing myself of the impossible.

"What are you even saying?" She acted dumb.

"I like you. Romantically. As in, I have feelings for you. Like, I feel butterflies whenever you're around." I felt shy. It was the first time, after a long time that I told someone I liked them. I could be a soft guy when I wanted to.