Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends Into the Thigh-Verse

Albert Breaks the Buffers

Albert was feeling pleased with himself. He had been helping take the express, while Gordon was being looked over. Gordon's coupling rods had been rattling, and his crew were worried that they'de fly off! Albert and Henry had been taking it in turns to take the fast passenger train, and while Henry was just as arrogant about it as usual, Albert was being more so.
"Pride of the line!" He boasted! "I'm the perfect fit for the express! Ready for anything! Really useful and always on time!"
The other engines ignored this. They hoped Albert would be back to normal before Gordon returned from the works. However, to everyone's annoyance, Albert kept it on!

One afternoon, Nigel brought some trucks to the big station by the sea! He shunted his trucks away, and then went onto the coal hoppers to be loaded with fresh coal! However, as his crew tried to apply the brakes, they found that they couldn't! Duck was being filled up with water nearby, and saw Nigel getting too close to the buffers!
"LOOK OUT!" He cried! But it was too late! Nigel backed into the buffers with a loud BANG! Luckily, the buffers had done their job, and stopped Nigel from going any further, but they were badly damaged! Nigel's buffers had also been cracked in the accident. Albert was stood with his coaches at the platform. He sneered at the scene before him!
"My dear, Nigel!" He said, obnoxiously loud, so everyone could hear him. "Buffers are only there as a last resort! To prevent hooligans like you from smashing into them! Now look what you've done! The Fat Controller won't be happy!"
"It wasn't Nigel's fault!" Snapped Duck defensively! "Brake failure can happen to any engine! You wouldn't be laughing if it happened to you!"
"Because it wouldn't happen to me." Chuckled Albert. "What a stupid thing to say. Do I look like the sort of engine who makes those mistakes?"
"You figure it out!" Duck barked! Albert took this as a victory, and he guffled away! "Ignore him." Duck soothed. "He'll get what's coming to him, sooner or later."
Nigel felt a little better. But not by much.

The Fat Controller understood that the accident wasn't Nigel's fault.
"Those buffers were an eyesore anyway." He said. "So don't feel too bad."
Nigel was able to joke about the situation too.
"It's either an eyesore or buffer sore!" He joked. Albert was still reveling in his war against Duck.
"You'd never see me cause such damage!" He gloated! "I'm better than that!"
"Suure ye arre." Donald replied. The next day workmen arrived to mend the buffers. And, in no time, the subject was dropped.

Until three weeks later, when Gordon returned home from being mended. Albert was put back on local trains.
"Where's that pride now, eh!?" Duck teased. Albert only hissed steam angrily! The following day, Albert busted into the big station by the sea! Hauling some coaches. As he stopped at the station, the stationmaster spoke to him.
"Grolton's broken down." She explained. "He can't fetch his train. I need you to shunt your coaches away, and collect his trucks."
Albert was very cross!
"I will certainly not!" He protested! "Express engine's do not pull trucks?"
"Are you an express engine?" Retorted his driver. "Didn't think so! Now quit your boiler aching, and let's get going!"
Reluctantly, Albert slunk into the yard. He shunted his coaches away, and started forward! However, what he didn't notice was the siding he was traveling down! Albert was grumbling the whole way!
"I was given the express! And to be put on goods trains is disgraceful!" He ranted and raved! "I was to receive nothing but good things! I worked hard! I should be gi-!"
It was only then did he notice the buffers, mere feat from his buffer beam! Before he could even shout, Albert burst through the buffers! Coming to a violent stop beyond the siding! Albert had been going much faster than Nigel, so had basically disintegrated under his weight! Albert lay off the rails, moaning dreadfully in pain! Just then, Duck arrived with a train of trucks from his branchline.
"Oh my god." Duck marveled. "It seems I was right.."
Albert expected Duck to rip him a new one, but Duck did no such thing.
"Alright." Duck said. "Let's get you back on the rails."
It was nightfall before the cranes could come and rescue Albert. By then, a hard frost was beginning to fall, making the job icey and bitter! Duck and Donald struggled for hours, before, at last, Albert was lowered onto the flatbed!
"Well Albert." Tittered The Fat Controller. "Not a fan of these buffers either, eh?"
Albert's face flushed with red.
"I.. Urm.. I know sir.. I'm sorry sir."
"It's not me you should say that to, say it to Nigel." The Fat Controller replied. Gesturing to the yellow engine, who had just arrived into the yard with his own goods.
"What on earth happened to you?" Nigel almost cracked.
"I crashed through the buffers." Albert explained. "Duck was right. I'm sorry. We all make mistakes sometimes."
Nigel burst out laughing!
"OH BLOODY HELL! HAHA! YOU'RE FORGIVEN!" He cackled! "JUST WAIT UNTIL THE OTHER ENGINES HEAR ABOUT THIS!"
And he scuttled away to the shed.

Albert was dutifully repaired, and set off for home. I'm not sure what's worse. The fact he was expecting an uproar of mockery and laughter. Or the fact he was greeted to dead silence.
"Those look nice." Came a voice. "What did you break to get them?"
Albert didn't know who the voice belonged to. Be thought it was Duck. Albert only gritted his teeth!