what am I gonna do

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Kades POV

My eyes widen at the nickname and even more at the fact he was running towards me. He grips me into a big hug and he stays there squeezing me for a while. I just stand there in shock. It's been forever since I've seen Daniel. Right before I was about to speak up, a voice chimes in, seemingly disapointed.
"That's not him Danny". Oh. Right. My surroundings must have fled my head. I forgot they didn't know.
"Oh? It's not? Well then i'm sorry mister. I mistook you for a friend I had a while back. You look just like him too!" He softly but disapointedly smiles at me. He breaks his grip and walks back towards the other two boys.
"Sorry about that guys" Daniel apologizes, scratching his head, guiltily. His politeness makes me smile a tiny bit. Everyone mutters along the lines of 'it's okay' and 'don't worry about it'. But I just stand there, hurt. It really hurts when you're so close to your friends that you've known forever but can't quite reach them. My mood darkens as I walk back up to the room, getting comfy. Cameron, Pierce, and Daniel soon burst into the room and starts putting stuff away. I figured Daniel was staying in our room. I sit there on my bed, my back facing them. I can't stand to see them happy without me. I stare at the wall and draw on my phone. I'm sure from their angle it looks like i'm asleep. I was about to put my headphones on to block out their giggles and their conversation till it goes quiet and the mood in the room changes. I feel a dip in my bed, startling me, and I hurriedly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.
"He's sleep." a voice says.
"It really looks like him"
"It could be him"
"there's no way"

"But he has no reason to lie to us does he? I mean I'm sure if it were Kaden we knew he would have jumped in our arms the moment he saw us."
I think in my head. 'Yeah. Maybe If I was the Kaden they knew back then I would have but-'
"Yeah but what if it is him and he's just changed. We did leave him on bad terms with us".
I frown. They realized their mistake but I don't think they know how big of a mistake it was. My thoughts halted. Or maybe leaving me wasn't a mistake to them...
"We had to. Plus the Kaden we know-"
"You keep saying the Kaden we know but what if we don't know him anymore!" Cameron lashed out.
"Quiet he's sleeping" someone snapped
"You've seen him last, yeah? What was he like when you saw him Danny"

There was a pause of silence before the voice I recognized as Daniel spoke.
"Well... he seemed kinda...not all there"
They got quiet. My lips forming into the state it's used to being in lately. A frown.
"I mean after escaping years of abuse could you blame him? If the boy in the bed is him." There was a pause. "If that is him I wouldn't blame him for acting this way, especially for the way you guys left him" Danny says accusingly
"Even if that is him he could at least tell us and be angry at us. We don't deserve to be completely ignored. I mean even a little recognition so we could know that he's at the very least okay." Cameron says angrily, his voice rising with each word.

My face turns into a scowl at that and I almost let out a scoff. He's fucking ridiculous. Who does he think he is? Why would they deserve that. THEY abandoned ME. Not the other way around. My mind rampages with different colorful words to describe them.
The room suddenly goes quiet and after a while I realize I'm shaking and my breath is ragged.

"I'm gonna finish putting my stuff up. I'm pretty sure dinner is almost ready so y'all head down there. We'll talk about this later" Danny's voice says firmly.
I squeeze my eyes and attempt to slow my breathing. My body curls up into a ball and I feel a tear slide down my face. I can't breathe but I don't start to panic yet. I want to hurl. I feel dizzy and my vision can't seem to focus, even with my eyes closed the darkness that I see still manages to swirl around in a whirlpool of confusion.
"Hey breathe in and out"
Who's voice is that?
"You're okay".

Danny.

He soothingly rubs my back and plays in my hair. He sits me up and starts counting me off. "1...,2...,3...,4...,5...." he keeps counting until I keep up with him and I noticeably relax.
"I'll be back" he runs off somewhere. My breath still runs ragged but it's a lot better than before. My vision stays in one spot at a time instead of jumbling everything together like before. I sit up further and realize what he said.

Where the hell is he going? I wonder and roll my eyes knowing he'll be back since he said so.

Slowly my mind starts to wonder again

Should I tell hi-
He bursts into the door with a glass. "here, drink". I try to grab the cup from him but my hands shake violently so he holds it for me. I frown and look away from him before the dryness of my throat takes over and I take a sip. I hate being babied.

There's a brief moment of silence before he speaks.
"I knew it was you Kaden"
I look down with a frown and fiddle with my fingers. I never could fool him.
"Yeah"
There's a string of awkward silence up until he hugs me. I wanted to cry all over again as I hugged him back.
"It's so good to see you again"
"I feel the exact same way"
He lets go of our hug and looks at me.
"So how much of that conversation did you hear earlier?" He questions and suddenly my cheeks heat up and my eyes want to look anywhere but at his.
"Most of it". "Or maybe all of it"
He chuckles at my embarrassment "I figured... Why don't they know?"
"I just- when they left me I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore and it hurt." I whisper under my breath again "it really hurt" I look down at my hands.
"I really want to tell them and I want everything to go back to normal but what they did hurt and even though I want to hate them I can't. And that makes me so angry. At the world and myself. I just- I don't think if they knew who I was now, that they'd befriend me again. I don't even think they like me anymore considering the last I'd saw them they were avoiding me and not to mention the note they left. I don't want what they saw me as to change. I don't want them to know this me... Plus I don't plan on staying here long and if they knew and didn't care that would hurt even worse because I loved them and even if they do hate me now I-

"I'm sure they don't hate you KK" he says reassuringly but my gut says otherwise.

"Maybe, but you saw how Cameron reacted. He'd hate me if I told him now. It's too late"

"They may be a little angry if you told them but I doubt they would hate you. You're too precious to them. I'm not sure what happened to you in that time we were apart but if they loved you as much as I love you then they shouldn't care about what has happened or what you've done."
I just stare at him dumbfounded. Daniel's always been my best friend for a reason. When did he get so wise. I give him a small smile and I look down until I come to a realization.
"PLEASE DON'T TELL EITHER OF THEM!" I begged him. I can't have them knowing about me. At least not yet.
"Fine only cause you asked so nicely" I didn't miss his sarcasm but I noticed he was serious. "you're gonna have to tell them sooner or later though"
I frown knowing he's right. "Well I'm gonna go and eat dinner. I doubt you want to come down there so I'll just tell them you're asleep"

"Thank you Danny. I mean it." He gives me another tight hug and leaves the room. What am I gonna do.

A/n
Thanks for reading! Sorry for the short chapter. School has been very stressful lately.

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