The In Between || [BxB]

What. The. Absolute. Hell.

⚠️ TW/CW: Smoking, mention of starvation, mention of abandonment, loss of appetite, prostitution gone wrong, derogatory words, violence

Kade POV
School had been going pretty well. There was no trouble and I actually really liked my classes. Well, except for P.E obviously. But Benny has been a great friend to waste time with in that class. The bigger downsides to that class is:
I'm running out of good gym clothes to wear
Coach keeps pushing me to try out for cross country
And 3. Pierce and Cameron can't seem to keep their eyes off of me. It's actually kind of creepy… like they’re studying me

But besides all of that, school was great. Now at home on the other hand is where I've been wanting to jump out of a window.

I feel like since they put the new rule down everyone has been resenting me. I'm always the last to finish my plate. Excuse me, sorry I can't just inhale food like they do.
Also there's more chores since Danny left and London left for college. I didn't bother saying goodbye. There was no point
Not only that but it seems like Remy has been avoiding me ever since.
Pierce and Cameron are trying to talk to me but I just shut them down by either giving them short answers and walking away or putting on my headphones. I know it seems rude but it’s what i have to do to keep myself sane

To stop myself from giving into them

Soooooooo for now i'm stuck being alone.

Currently I'm on the roof looking at the sky. Did I mention I was also smoking? Yeah i had forgotten about the pack i bought that day up until now. Everyone else is downstairs doing chores so I figured it was a good time to do it without being caught. Better than to risk sneaking out. Only reason im not currently down there with them is because i finished mine. All i had were dishes so i finished as quickly as i could and headed out here. I needed the stress relief.
I felt guilty as i sparked the second cancer stick up, thinking of the promise i had made with Ariel.

I sighed as I thought about the doe eyed kid. I wonder what shes been up to, with a nice family I hope. I wondered if she had even remembered me. I smiled sadly as i thought about her trying to boss me around telling me
‘You better promise me to stop doing that’  she points accusingly at the cig with a hand on her hip
‘Okay okay i will…. Only if you promise to stay out of trouble’
‘ will do’ she says smiling eagerly at me.

I don't know why i even made her promise that. There was no staying true to that promise, especially when you live on the streets. You cant ‘stay out of trouble’ it always comes to you.

I frowned as i realized that im at the end of my second cigarette and i should probably get back inside. Thats what i was thinking. Not what i was planning on doing.

I grabbed another cigarette and lit it up. Just one more. Thinking about Ari just makes my guts bleed. It makes my fists tingle and tremble and my heart race. I needed to get rid of that feeling. I could’ve done more for her. I could’ve protected her better. Thats what i tell myself
But subconsciously i know

I couldn't have done jack shit else…

I wasn't buff and able to fight. I had tried that tho. I was weak and scrawny, because that’s what the streets does to you. It starves you until you're at the brink of death. It wrangles your insides until they are chewing on themselves.

What I could’ve done is kept her away from all of that shit in the first place. She shouldn’t have seen the things she seen. But on the streets nobodys safe. Not even cutesy doe eyed children.

My lips tremble and my eyes begin to water. She will be 8 in a few days and ill miss it. Ill miss her birthday. We always spent her birthday together. I don't know what jackass dumps a baby on the street but I found her when she was about 3. As long as we had spent time together she was pretty much my kid. At Least that's what I considered her. For her birthdays I'd save all the money I had and buy her a piece of cake. She’d smile big and bounce up and down while she’d thank me. I miss her