The In Between || [BxB]

There's No Way I'm Sleeping Tonight

Kades POV

My eyes wide in embarrassment. The grunting and groaning doesn't seem to stop and my eyes study them. Pierce is on top of Cameron staring intently into his eyes. They're gazes of lust don't stray from each other as Pierce pounds into Cameron while he plays with himself.

I must still be in a nightmare.

Pierce pins a hand down over Cam's mouth as he throws his head back, his eyes rolling into their sockets. Cam moans

"Be any louder and you might just wake our roomie" Pierce says as his gaze never strays from Cameron's.

This is insane right?,

"I- can't hold it" Cameron grunts right as his back arches.

"Don't worry love, neither can-" he doesn't finish his sentence.
Theres a mixture of lust and happiness in the air as they both seem to finish together. I still stare wide eyed at them.
There's no way.

They share a loving kiss before they speak again.
"We'll get cleaned up in the morning. Is that okay with you my love"
.
My love?
My heart starts to hurt more than it was before.

"Okay babe"
"Now gets some rest." There's a moment of silence before thick words slice the air as well as my heart.
"I love you"
.
.
.
" I love you too"

"What. the .fuck."

They're heads snap to me quickly.

Fuck I just said that out loud.

Curse me and my stupid fucking mouth.

Sweat drips down from my nightmare and my eyes bloodshot from the tears that followed with it. My wide, teary, eyes stare back at theirs.

I bet I look like a mess to them.

They look complete together. I guess they did mean what they said in that note. I feel as worthless to them as a dirty penny on the floor waiting to be picked up. I guess they really don't love me anymore. I instinctively grab the ring hanging from my neck. I look down to try to find theirs but it's nowhere to be seen.

"K-" there's a pause " kade what the hell are you doing up?"
Cam questions but Pierce lowly answers for him.
"Your loud ass probably woke him up" he says, thinking I didn't hear him and Cam blushes a shade of pink.
All I can do is stare at them, hurt. I know I said I'm supposed to hate them but I can't forget the memories we've shared together, especially as it all comes rushing back. I'm staring them right in their eyes as they wait on a reply from me but all I can do is muster up a disgusting scowl.
For them having sex right beside me
For seeing them like this
I can't stand looking at their sweaty lust-covered body's. I can't even look them in the eye any more.
After what's happened to me and especially after that nightmare I can't stand the smell of the room anymore. My face cringes in disgust and I quickly climb down from my bed.
"Kade, what are you doing?"
They ask as I gather things to take a shower and I ignore them.
"Kade" one of them calls but I can't tell who. It sounds and feels like I'm under water. Like in drowning.
"Kade where the hell are you g-" the sound stops as the door of the bathroom slams closed. I slide my back against the door and let out small breaths to calm me  but they don't work

How the hell am I supposed to calm down!?

I had a nightmare about...
My eyes trail down to my waistline where the scar resides
I just woke up to my two ex lovers fucking each other.
How do I come back from that.

I hear a knock on the door and a voice on the other side
" Kade can we talk?" He says as he twists the doorknob. Before he can barge into my mental breakdown I quickly lock the door and back away from it, starled. Like I had just ran away from a serial killer and they're on the other side.
When he realizes the door is locked another person knocks on the door.
"Kade if you don't open this fucking door right now!"
The man yelled pounding on the door
My nightmare memory pounds in my head as I back into the shower, rushing to turn it onto scolding hot. The sound of the water drowns out Cams yelling and eventually, it stops. I sigh as the burning water pours onto my clothed body. I just sit there in the shower, clothes on. I needed the sound to stop. The smell of lust isn't as strong in here.

It feels like I've been sitting in here for hours. Numb
I haven't moved a muscle. The water continues to pour over my head. My skin familiarizes the burn. My heart hurts less. My guts churn and my head dizzies. I get up abruptly wanting to puke, and that's exactly what I do. I puke. Tears come out of my eyes as I do so.
My heart longer is numb
My guts churn less
My skin has steam floating off of it.
My head still dizzies.
No longer having anymore food to discard I hope back into the shower, taking my soaked clothes off and getting in to scrub myself.

That dream has me hysterical. I want his hands off of me
I scrub
I need the memory gone
I scrub harder
I need the scar to disappear
My hand glazes over the scar.
Fuck
Doomed
That's the word to describe my head.
My head is doomed with these thoughts.
There's always gonna be a constant reminder that I'm a prostitute.
I used my body to get around
To get meals
To feed Ari-
I'm fucking disgusting is what I am.
I turn off the shower and rush to get dressed, avoiding the mirror that reflects my true self back to me.
Im pretty sure I might have to explain in the morning but right now...absolutely not.
I get dressed and open the steamy door of the foggy bathroom.
The steam flows out and into the room and into the light.
Light?
Light seems to be shining into the room.
Apparently what felt like hours, really was hours

I look around to see Cam and Pierce in their respective beds, asleep. Good. I dunno if I could take anymore of their pleas to hear them out.

Im pretty sure all I could hear from them now is the sound of their moans...

My face burns in embarrassment as I picture Cams submissive face and Pierces dominating posture.

My face burns

I shake my head at my thoughts.
'im not gay' I say to my inner self, knowing damn well I am. I don't want to be but there's no stopping that..

I hear one of them shift and I freeze,not wanting them to wake.
He continues to stir while I tiptoe to my bed.

You know how you imagine how the Grinch burglarized houses? Yeahhh...

It was like that.

I climb into the top bunk and grab my sketchbook.

There's no way I'm sleeping tonight.