𝕄𝕒𝕫𝕖 ℝ𝕦𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤

The Broken Boy

I never would've been able to tell that there was anything wrong if he hadn't jumped. He seemed happy, but it was too good to be true. There was never anything wrong with Newt from the outside, but his demons were eating away from the inside.

I think this as I listen to Newt's anguished moaning while I clean his bloodied leg. Crimson blood drips seeps through the white cloth and a tear falls from my face onto the wet spot.

"Why did you do it, Newt? Why did you shucking do it?" I ask as I work through the sobs. "We can't lose you. We need you."

Minho stands behind me, anxiously watching with bloodshot eyes. "He's going to be ok, right?"

"He better be," I answer. We can't lose him. We need Newt. I need Newt.

Clint, my fellow Med-Jack, gives Newt a drip of pain killers. "Anything else I can do to help?"

"Get ice and more pillows," I direct. "We need to keep his leg elevated."

Newt cries out again in pain as I wrap the wound in gauze and bandages. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm so sorry, this is gonna hurt."

The blond boy screams in agony as I add a splint amongst the wrappings to ensure it heals properly. Minho winces at the sound, longing to help. His clothes are stained in blood from where he carried Newt in.

Clint returns with ice and pillows so we prop his leg up with the cushioning and rest the ice over his freshly bandaged wound.

"That's all we can do for now," I say even with all the pain the words bring me. "I'll stay with him for now."

---

I drift in and out of sleep in the wooden chair at Newt's bedside, but his hand never falls from mine.

"You know," Clint says as he changes the drip bag for fresh medication. "You'd be more helpful if you got some proper rest. You've got to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. When was the last time you ate?"

"I'm fine," I insist even though Clint is clearly not convinced. "It is about time for him to eat. Will you go grab some soup and water? I'll feed him."

Clint grumbles disapprovingly, but he concedes and fetches the meal along with an extra bowl of soup and some bread. I reach for it, but Clint pulls it away.

"I'll feed him, you eat." He hands me the bread and second bowl against my protests and carefully spoons broth through Newt's cracked lips.

I eat quickly, knowing he's right, but the lump in my throat makes swallowing a chore. He'll be ok, I tell myself. He'll be alright. He has to be. But I don't believe it entirely. The darkest part of my mind whispers, If he's not, it will be your fault. You never even got to tell him how much you care.

---

"Y- y/n?" Newt's tired voice wakes me from my fevered dreams.

"Newt!" I exclaim, jumping to my feet.

His chocolate brown eyes peek beneath his thick lashes, a welcome sight compared to the closed lids of unconsciousness that'd I'd been seeing for weeks. We'd kept him sedated to spare him from the pain, but it was agony for me to be kept away from his company.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

Newt closes his eyes and lets out a weak groan. "Awful."

I'm grateful for the honesty even though it wasn't the answer I wanted. I refill his morphine drip. "There," I say gently. "That should help soon."

He nods in gratitude and tears sparkle on his cheeks.

"Hey." I take my place in the chair beside his bed, grasping his hand in mine. "You're ok now. You're ok."

"No." Newt shakes his head. "This isn't better. I just want to get out of this bloody torture chamber. Please just let me go."

Tears seep from my y/e/c eyes. "Never. I can't. I won't. We need you, Newt. I need you." My voice softens. "I love you and I can't lose you."

"W- what?" Newt opens his eyes to look at me. "What did you say?"

My cheeks flush. "Nothing. We just can't let you go. We need you."

"Why?" He asks.

"Because," I begin, my mind swirling in all the reasons. "Because you're kind, you're helpful, you're smart, responsible. Newt, we wouldn't last without you. You're the one who gives us hope when there is none left. You encourage us to keep going. You make us laugh in the darkest of times. I know you might not see it, but you keep us all together. We need you." Pearly tears glisten on my y/s/c cheeks.

Newt's lips pull into a tiny, weak smile. "I didn't know I meant so much to you."

I chuckle sadly. "Then I'm sorry I didn't show it."

I rub circles with my thumb over his hand. My eyes flicker to his mouth and my own lips part. Before I know it, our noses are nearly touching and suddenly sunshine explodes in exuberant rays where our lips meet.

"I love you, Newt," I whisper giddily when we break apart.

He grins genuinely. "I knew that's what you said. I love you too, y/n."

Butterflies erupt within my stomach and I can't stop smiling. My heart flutters and my legs turn to rubber.

"Can I- can I kiss you again?" Newt asks, adjusting his pillows to support him in sitting position.

"Always."

"I've been shucked and gone to heaven." Newt and I break apart to see Minho standing in the doorway with a disbelieving grin plastered on his face. "No, no, don't stop because of little old me. This is a sight for sore eyes."

We chuckle lightly and I've all but transformed into a tomato.

"Slim it, Minho!" Newt says. It's so good to see him smile. "You're just jealous."

Minho chuckles. "You're probably right. Good to see you doing better, shank." The boys embrace.

"Thank you," Newt says. "Both of you."