Paramours of Spring (Youthful Series 4)

16

Content Warning. Read at your own risk.

April

When can we truly say that you're ready to give it all? Or if the person is worth risking? I honestly don't know and I don't think there's enough sign to give my all to Adi. But what does giving my everything means?

From the past few weeks, para bang may gusto sa aking sabihin si Adi pero hindi niya magawa. Adi isn't like that. He's concise, clear to his thoughts, all planned out, and most especially, knows what he want to do.

So from those days that he had been avoiding to say something, I thought it's about sex.

There's something about his body language that made me assume he is looking for it. His kisses are more intimate than before, his hands hold me like he will never let me go, and his eyes made me crave of him more.

I'm not really sure if I'm ready to do it, but I did prepare just in case it happens.

And it finally did. Just not the way I was expecting it.

"Are we doing it now?"

He asked with his careful voice. There's no one in their house because his parents where still in the shop and they'll come home late.

I bit my lip as I nod before I answer. "I'm nervous,"

"I'll try to make you calmer," he said with his assuring voice.

He confirmed again, unsure if we should actually do it. But as our lips moves deeply from our kisses, the feeling of sensation that we were both avoiding everything has finally come to dominate our body.

Dumulas ang kaniyang kamay sa aking katawan nang pareho naming hubarin ang mga suot namin at ang tanging nakabalot na lang sa amin ay ang ilaw mula sa kaniyang mesa.

Sinundan ng mas malalalim na halik ang dumampi sa bawat parte ng aking katawan. Marahan niya akong hinawakan at kahit dama ko ang kaunting sakit ay minabuti niya ang pagiging maingat.

His scent made me even more feral. "Chin," he whispered as he prepares for going in. I nod and placed my arms around his neck. Every thrust, I tighten my embrace to him. I couldn't force to moan from pain but I grew fonder to it.

He made me love my body and so I tried to pleasure him with me. I fell asleep when we finished and the sound of his kisses became my lullaby.

We both took a shower and I finished earlier so I went back inside his room and look for his clothes.

Pagkakuha ko ng mga damit niya sa ay hindi ko inaasahan na makita ang isang envelope. Hindi ko dapat ito sadyang makita pero dahil sa nahulog ang laman nito ay nakita ko ang mga pangalan ng iba't ibang universities.

I deeply inhale, trying to contruct thoughts inside me. Suddenly, the bathroom door opens. I was caught from something that I shouldn't see.

"Chin, sasabihin ko sana sa'yo 'to pero-"

I am not mad or anything, but the emotions I am feeling is indescribable. It's not because of him wanting to leave this province, but it's him not being able to tell me about this.

"So, nakapasok ka mga universities na 'to," I try to smile while holding my tears. What is he so afraid of that he has to lie about this?

"Sorry," lumapit siya sa akin at hinayaan kong hawakan niya ang aking braso.

"Adi," I try to sound more optim about it, "I am happy for you," I kiss him from his cheeks. "Akala ko kaya ka nagkakaganito kasi you want to have sex with me?"

"No, I like to have sex with you Chin, it's just- that- it's not about sex, okay? I'm just scared to lose you,"

I wipe my tears before it even shows from my cheeks. "Gabi na, uuwi na ako,"

"Ihahatid na kita," kumilos siya pero agad ko rin siyang pinigilan pa.

Umuwi akong mag-isa at sumakay na lang ng bus. Pagdating ko sa kuwarto ay napansin kong bukas ang ilaw na panigurado akong nanggagaling sa aking night lamp.

"Surprise!" I was shocked when my Ate is standing in front of me right through my room door.

My heart melts and so does my body. I cling to her and cries everything of me. She just accepted and stood strong standing to hold my hugs.

She was there in my bed as I tear up until I feel asleep. She never asked anything, but I know she knew how much I feel this moment.