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xii. birthdays
The day I had been dreading was here. And I hadn't slept at all—because I knew that this birthday would be just like the last.
Quietly walking down the hallway, my dads' doors were all tightly closed. I could feel their soundless sobs through the door. This was the day none of the people in the Blackbourne household slept. We didn't utter a word on this day either.
Massaging my swollen, sleep deprived eyes, I entered the kitchen and started making my dads a light breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and toast.
Once that was finished, I grabbed nine trays out from underneath the counter and placed a glass of water and a steaming cup of coffee on each try before loading their plates on them.
Quietly, I held Father's try and carried it to his bedroom door, before setting it down and knocking gently on his door. Hearing no reply, I sadly smiled before taking Dad Sean's food to his door.
"Hey honey," Grandma said, voice somber and quiet. "Happy birthday, Grey." Hands shaking as I gripped on to Dad Kota's tray, I gave her a wavering smile. "Thanks, Grandma."
Grandma took the tray from my shaking hands and took me into her arms, "How are you feeling?"
Lips pressed together, I shrugged. "I don't know."
And that was an honest answer. I really didn't. I was feeling an array of emotions that even I couldn't decipher. "I just miss her." I admitted, refusing to cry. I'd already shed enough tears through the night. My eyes were blood shot, and swollen enough that it hurt to keep my eyes open.
"What do you want to do today? Honestly." She chided, forcing a smile on her face. Thinking hard, I forced a chuckle out. "I don't know—I'll find something to do."
"How about I get a cake and we'll have a small party? Would you like that?" Grandma asked, frantically waiting for my reply.
Should I celebrate this year? Should I?
Seeing Grandma's hopeful face, I knew I would have a hard time saying no to her. Hesitantly, I nodded, "That sounds fun—I just don't want many people knowing." feeling unsure of my decision. "Wonderful!" She said, clapping her hands, "I'll help you take the rest of the trays up and then I'll call the Toma's! Kayli and Kylie can help me set up a small party."
