Getting Closer To "us" [Ateez Yeosang]

~05~

((Y/n)'s Pov)

Guilt. This was a feeling that I was drowning in. I knew I was harsh and cold but I everything just felt so unreal to me.
But actually, I was relieved that Yeosang wasn't some stupid fool.

The next weeks were pretty normal. I didn't hear anything from Yeosang so I just continued with my daily life. I tried to enjoy the days of my freedom, not being bound to somebody.

It didn't really work. Yeosang was ghosting inside my head every single minute. It was a very confusing time.

On one casual day I was sitting in my pyjamas in the corner of my dark room like a bag of potatoes. It was one of my favorite activities. What else do you do when you don't know what to do with your life?

An unknown number texted me, claiming to be Yeosang. Normal people would've just believed them but I needed to be extra cautious because of my mafia business.

The unknown person wanted to meet me at a nearby park so I changed out of my pyjamas and drove to that park.

Yeosang was standing there. The wind blew through his hair. He looked angelic.
I shook my head and scolded myself. I couldn't start thinking like that. I just couldn't.

"Hi!" he said with a bright smile. "Hey, you wanted to talk to me?" I replied with a calm voice. "Did anyone send you here?"
"No, no, listen, I know you have to be cautious of enemys and all that but I came here all by myself, I promise," Yeosang explained. He took a deep breath and looked at me while I was looking straight, avoiding eye contact.

"I know that you're not happy with us marrying. Trust me, I know how you feel. But we can't stop it anyway so I believe we just have to make the best with this situation. I can't really tell if you dislike me or anything but uhm yeah. We're getting married anyway but I kinda wanted to do this to make things a tiny bit better." He pulled a ring out of the pocket of his coat and gave it to me.

It was a simple golden one but the initials "K.Ys x K. ((Y/n)'s initials) were carved into it. I felt how my heart sank. He was being so nice but I knew I couldn't allow myself to fall in love. I'd dragg him into huge danger if I fall in love.
And I just couldn't allow myself to bring his innocent soul into the awful mafia world.

"So, will you marry me?" he asked sincerely. "I guess I don't have another choice, do I?"
As soon as these words slipped over my lips I wanted to banish myself to the devil.

I am so sorry.