Getting Closer To "us" [Ateez Yeosang]

~29~

(Yeosang's Pov)

I sighed in frustration and sat up. For some reason I couldn't fall asleep. I assumed it was because I thought too much about the things I had heard when I was with Jihyeon and (Y/n).

It was useless to continue laying in bed so I got off my bed and sneaked upstairs to check on the others. Maybe someone of them was awake and I could talk to someone.

Whisper-yells could be heard from Yunho's, Mingi's and Jongho's room. They were too immersed into their video game to even notice me so I decided to just leave and let them play their game.

I then crossed Seonghwa and Hongjoong's room. I carefully pushed the door open and had to stop myself from chuckling.

Hongjoong usually sleeps on the top bed of the bunk bed but this time he slept with Seonghwa on the bottom bed.

The bed was a little too small for both of them so half of Hongjoong's body was hanging from the bed.

I placed Hongjoong's head in Seonghwa's chest as careful as I could. After that, I put Seonghwa's hand on Hongjoong's hand which I had just placed on Seonghwa's stomach.
Then I giggled quietly and left then proudly.

And last but surely not least I passed the room of Wooyoung and San.
The lights were turned off so I assumed they were asleep. As usual, they fell asleep while cuddling.

A silent smile appeared on my lips as I saw them. They were made for each other and no one's ever gonna change my mind on that.

I quietly picked up the blanket they had somehow managed to kick off the bed. I covered them with the blanket and left them after petting both of their heads.

Being in a good mood I hopped downstairs again when I decided to check on (Y/n) as well.

I sneaked next to her bed and kinda just stood there. I didn't want to wake her up so I just silently stood there and stroked her hair lovingly.

(Y/n) suddenly rubbed her eyes and looked at me with half asleep eyes.
"Sangie? Is everything okay?" she asked with a sleepy voice.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I apologized.
"No, it's okay, I'm awake now anyway. At least tell me why you came," (Y/n) said without the slightest bit of anger.

"Okay, w-well, I-uh- c-could I maybe get some cuddles? Y-you don't have to if you're uncomfortable," I stuttered being very lost and embarrassed.

Even in the darkness I could see that (Y/n)'s cheeks had turned a little bit darker. "I'm not uncomfortable, I'm always okay with cuddles!" (Y/n) smiled after a short silence and patted the empty space next to her.

I was just laying beside her awkwardly at first but then (Y/n) took a deep breath and snuggled closer to me.

"You know, your heart is beating like crazy," (Y/n) hummed as she rested her head on my chest.

"That's probably because I'm currently laying in the same bed next to the love of my life who usually doesn't let me that close to her," I confessed in a casual tone.

"Stop, you're making me flustered and embarrassed at the same time," (Y/n) squeaked.

"Can I ask you a few things about earlier?" I felt how (Y/n) got unwell and hesitant but she still nodded.

"Did you know about my dad?"
"To be honest, yeah, I did. He told me that he promised your mom that he'd raise you far away from the mafia stuff. Please don't be too mad at him though. He did it for your own good. You wouldn't be as cute and innocent as you're now if he told you. The mafia world is awful, horrible, terrifying and traumatizing," (Y/n) whispered.

I nodded silently. "And what was that about your best friend? It's okay if it's a sensitive topic to you. I understand if you don't want to talk about it," I carefully said.

"Well, I've never told anybody about it but you're the best first person I can wish for.
Anyways, my father owed a bunch of money to another clan but as he didn't pay it, they wanted to get revenge on him. But instead of doing something to him they captured my best friend because they knew they'd hurt him if they hurt me. So my best friend was tortured until she eventually died and Jihyeon moved away. I was left alone with a ton of guilt. My mind created a voice inside me that reminded me daily that I was a useless piece of shit who's a murderer. At some point I got used to it and it the voice made me toying with the thought of suicide but then something like a miracle happened."

"Huh? A miracle? What happened?"
"You came into my life, of course! You gave me the happiness I haven't felt in so long. You gave me the happiness I needed to suppress that voice," (Y/n) hummed.

I felt my cheeks heating up. "D-do you really mean that?"
(Y/n) pulled a little away and looked into my eyes. "You know, I rarely open up so I'd never lie about my feelings," she smiled before burying her face in my chest again.

"And now, you better sleep, alright?" she added with a sleepy voice.
After a short while she was asleep. I looked at her lovingly for a while before I carefully kissed her forehead.
"Sweet dreams, love."