Irondad/Spiderson Oneshots

10

Tony sighed. Today was a lab day, meaning that Peter was supposed to come to the tower and tinker in the lab with him until nighttime. Keyword: supposed.

Contrary to popular belief, Tony Stark did not, in fact, do what he wanted. No. Tony was the recessive allele of the couple, meaning that what dominant-allele-Pepper wanted, dominant-allele-Pepper got.

And today, dominant-allele-Pepper wanted recessive-allele-Tony to do an interview for a documentary on science-fiction. Tony thought that was entirely useless but still called his lab buddy to postpone their mentor-mentee scheduled quality time since he knew he couldn't talk his way out of this with his wonderful but scary fiancé.

That's how he found himself on a rather uncomfortable chair with a blinding light aimed at his face to answer an admittedly kind lady's questions.

For the umpteenth time, Tony checked the time. He'd already been there for an hour and a half and although he found the interview surprisingly interesting and intellectual, he would still rather be spending the day with his kid.

"Do you think science-fiction shows a fair representation of the future of science and technology?" The interviewer asked, pulling Tony out of his thoughts.

"Of course not." He scoffed. "Half of the things they show you in those movies is scientifically impossible. If you're looking for realism, sci-fi is probably not the best pick."

"Are you saying sci-fi movies are misleading?"

"Not necessarily. Sci-fi is just an excuse to make characters do things which aren't possible. Then again, things are often considered impossible until they're done."

"Can we expect Stark lightsabers in a few years' time, then?" The interviewer asked jokingly.

"Well, if you expect me to design lightsabers with some kind of laser, I'm sorry to crush your dreams by saying that it's entirely impossible." Tony turned in full science-genius mode, all traces of annoyance suddenly gone. He was in his element. "Unless the light is somehow scattered, a laser is essentially invisible as it passes through the air. Light also having no mass, there's no way a laser could ever have the same properties as, say, a sword. It would be very difficult to swing around without cutting off your own limbs.

Now, imagine if the power of the lightsaber came from the heat it emits. It would certainly explain why lightsabers can slice through pretty much anything, but it wouldn't allow people to fence like we see in Star Wars. Making an actual lightsaber is simply not possible.

If you were to make it with plasma, it would be very much solid and would cut effortlessly through anything. But even 'cold' plasma has too high a temperature for humans to withstand. Anyone trying to use a plasma-saber would roast like a chicken on a spit.

So really, there's no ideal material to make the blade of a lightsaber similar to the ones in Star Wars. And even if we did manage to find such a thing, it'd still need a power source. And I'm talking about an arc reactor type of power, which would be insanely dangerous and weaponizable. Sorry for being a party-pooper but I refuse to provide maniacs with any more weapons than I already have."

The interviewer looked surprised. "Wow, you really have thought this through!"

"What can I say? My son's a big fan." Tony said without thinking.

The word son came out so easily he didn't even realize he had said it. Not that it was surprising, because that's what Peter was to him. Happy and Rhodey liked to tease him about it, which Pepper and May found very amusing. Tony secretly liked it though, and if peter red cheeks and light smile were anything to go by, he liked it too.