One of the Guys

Stupidity

It's been two months since Matthew's told me the information he had for me. I really don't think it's true. I mean, why would Logan cheat on me? He's the sweetest guy in the world. He wouldn't do that. Right? Right. I know my best friend slash boyfriend.

I put my homework assignments in my locker and closed it shut, making sure it was closed before I started walking down the hall. I don't carry any of my books anymore. I don't care if I need them. If they need to be used, they need to be provided everyday. I'm not breaking a sweat for a stupid textbook. I'd rather just carry my pen...

If I even have one.

I turned the corner and continued to walk to my class. I'm pretty sure I left my homework in the science room. As I was approaching the science room I noticed Logan standing near a locker. I went over to say hi but stopped dead in my tracks. Tons of emotions flooded through my body and I just stood there, dumbfounded. How could he? After everything, this is what he does? I can't even get this through my head. This isn't him..  This isn't real. It's a dream. In the back of my head I knew this was real and this was actually happening, but a little part of me hopes this isn't real. He finally looked in my direction and his expression changed. He took long strides to me and held my hands. I shrugged him off and looked at my feet. "Bubbs." He said reaching to touch me again. I put my hand on his chest and shoved him back. "No. Just don't talk to me. Go back to kissing Marissa. You can all you want because you're single now."

"No! Abrianna! Let me explain." I shook my head. "What are you going to say? You were so in love with me and then all your feelings just vanished so you decided to go and cheat? That's how you dealt with everything. You just thought that I wouldn't find out and everything would be fine right? Well, everything's fine now that You're single. I hope you got what you wanted. You probably never even had feelings for me." I whispered the last part and left him there, standing and looking at me with wide eyes. I know I'm right.

I should've known that no matter what I think everything just crumbles into pieces and you get heart  broken either way. I'm not going to cry. There's no  reason. I need to leave. I need to just take a breather and I'll be fine. I walked outside, not  even bothering to see if any teachers were here. I just need some fresh air and I need it now.

I stayed outside for three periods more and went back in for lunch. Yeah, I'll see him but I can't think straight. It's like my body is living but my mind is in a stand still. I can't process anything.

I sat down at the table and sat in the midst of everyone's conversation. Once I took a seat they looked up and just starred at me for a second before Tasha spoke up. "Are you Okay Aubrey?" I just nodded and starred out to the side for the rest of the period. I really don't want to bother anybody with my problems anymore. I've been too wrapped up in my own life that I haven't even hung out with all my friends.

★☆★

Later on that day I hung out with Tasha at my house and we walked for a while. She's supposed to be sending the night. "Aubrey,  this isn't like you. You'd be mad, Or angry, Or sad right now. Talk to me. What happened? Why are you acting like this?" She asked.

"I've had a reality check." I said simply and turned on my side, turning off the light and trying to get some sleep.

The next day me and Tasha got ready for school and went on throughout our day. My day was really just a big blur. I don't remember much of it. I was lost in my own thoughts most of the time and I even slipped practice today. I'm just out of it today I guess..

"Abrianna,  you need to talk to me. You haven't expressed your feelings. It's Okay to cry. I know You're keeping all of your feelings bottled up, but just let it all out." I shook my head.

"I'm not going to that. For the first time in my life I'm just at a standstill."