My Abused Mate (boyxboy)

Chapter Seventeen

Alex

Tears roll down Becky's damp cheek, falls to the ground, blending in with the rain. The look in her exhausted eyes could break anyones heart. She cries silently, her eyes puffy and red. It's the kind of cry only seen at funerals, only felt at funerals. The kind where the tears aren't alive, but lifeless, and the death of a loved one seems surreal. The kind where the crier pushes away the grief, the overwhelming sadness of the loss.

Justin wraps his arm tightly around his mother shoulders, it's as if his song arm around her shoulders is the only thing keeping her from breaking. Wrapping my arms around Justin's waist from behind, I lend him my strength. Even though he believes he has to be this big strong male who cares for everyone I will be there for him, just like he was there for me. He still hasn't cried, I don't know what to make of that. Justin has been pushing away all the grief he has been experiencing, first his father dies and then his best friend and Beta has been in a coma since the incident with his mate.

When Justin told me what happened on the battle field I was so angry I started walking towards the dungeons to give that pathetic excuse of a mate a good kick in the bum bum. How could he do that to his own mate?! I would die before betraying Justin. He won't allow anyone to go down to the pack cells, except him and thats only to give the rogue food and water. 

Staring at the coffin as they lower it down, tears spring to my eyes. I can't believe he's gone. He made me feel at home, he was the father I never had. He will never get to see any of his grandchildren. The thought of my children not knowing their grandfather made the tears come faster. 

Rubbing my face in between Justin's shoulder blades leaving soft kisses behind, letting him know that I am here. It's as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulder, as he relaxes back into my embrace a little bit, taking comfort in my kisses. Slowly we everyone start to make their way back to the pack house for the lunch that has been prepared in honour of the old Alpha.

Justin starts leading mama back in the direction of the pack house, but she refuses to move.

"Don't touch me!" mama shouts as she slaps away Justin's hands.

"Mum, it's time to go back to the house so that we can have the lunch prepared for father." He says gently.

Tears start to stream down mama's face as she collapses against Justin's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. I stand there stunned, I don't know what to do. 

"WHY!? HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME?!?!" Mama starts yelling, banging her hands against Justin's chest.

"Shh, I'm here mum... Alex is here for you... the whole Pack is here." Justin whispers soothingly, running his hands through her hair comfortingly. Slowly her sobbing dies down to hiccups as she falls asleep in her son's arms. Justin scoops her up into his arms, holding her close.

"Come on Alex." Looking up my eyes clash with Justin's. The emotionless look o his face causes a pain to shoot straight to my heart. Why does my Justin have to be the strong one? I should be able to comfort him, he shouldn't have to shoulder all the weight of our problems. It's not fair to him. 

Nodding my head, I begin to follow him back to the Pack house. I can't help but feel pathetic, my mate takes on everything for me. He had to deal with the fact that I'm dirty, I'm used, I will always be scared that my father will come back for me. He will also have to deal with me being a useless father. If we ever have children I don't think I will make a good father, I didn't have a good father.

My head hangs low as I make my way past Justin, slowly climbing the stairs and head straight to our bedroom. I can't sit in front of the Pack and pretend that everything is ok. I walk into the bathroom, strip and hope into the shower. I feel dirty, I can't stand the feeling of being used, of being used by my own father.