My Abused Mate (boyxboy)

Chapter Eighteen

Alex

Life has been hell this past week. It's a never ending morning, for that is what they call it. Morning sickness. I can tell you one thing, it absolutely sucks. It should be called all day sickness.

So once again I am bent over the toilet, puking my guts out as Justin tries to comfort my heaving form. The foul, acidic taste leaves me grimacing, why does being pregnant have to suck? Don't get me wrong, I am happy about the baby, I just can't stand the morning, wait all day, sickness. 

My emotions seem to be all over the place as well, I don't know how much more Justin will be able to take of my emotional rollercoaster. One minute I will be horny as hell and molesting the poor man, and then the next I will be hitting him out of some random act of anger. I feel sorry for my poor mate, who just takes it all in stride, a genuine smile painted on him face. I love that smile, but sometimes I just want to slap it off his face.

Standing up I walk over to the sink to brush my teeth and to get ready for the day.

"How are you feeling baby boy?" Justin asks, wrapping his arms around my slim waist. 

"I've been better, but it will all be worth it. Right? I won't screw this parenting thing up, will I?" Looking up, my eyes meet Justin's beautiful green eyes.

"No, you will be a great daddy" he assures me, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Now come on, its time for your therapy session with Doc."

Nodding my head, I turn around to give Justin a big hug before he leads me downstairs towards the clinic, where I have my therapy sessions. Slowly I have been getting better, Justin is with me every minute of the sessions, comforting me as I talk about my past and how we can work on my fears Last session Doc suggested I should go and talk to my father, it's supposed to help me overcome my fear of the man. I don't know if I can do it though. Justin denied it straight away, say now that I'm pregnant we can't risk anything happening to the baby. He didn't want me to become more traumatised than I already am by my father.

I'm afraid of facing my father one last time, how will he react to the fact that his son is pregnant. I shouldn't tell him... but he is my father...what if he tries to hurt my baby? I don't know what to do...I want my baby to have a grandfather...but do I want my father to be my baby's grandfather? I don't think I would be able to function properly if my father was around my children. I would be too worried about if they were being harmed by that man the way I was harmed. The thought of my son or daughter being harmed by their grandfather sickens me, I just want to throw up all over again. 

My hands subconsciously cover my slight bump protectively, I would never let anyone harm my baby, never.

Justin instantly senses my distress and walks over to me. "Baby boy, you need to calm down. The stress isn't good for the baby, or you." Wrapping his arms around me, I burry my face in his warm chest. Peace...

"Thank you, for being here Marshmallow" I whisper.

Justin tightens his hold on me, "Always. I will never let you go."

"Alpha and Luna?" 

I turn towards the Doctor and we both walk into the room.

+++++

"Can we please go see Zac?" I ask Justin once my therapy session is over. He simply nods before pulling me over to the room Zac is staying in.

The steady beep of his heart monitor soothes my nerves immediately. As long as he is breathing and his heart is beating everything will be ok. He has to wake up, he is the godfather of my child. Zac is the first real friend I have ever had, I don't know what would happen if he died.

"He is going to be all right isn't he Justin?" My voice quivers when I ask this simple question.

"I hope so, he will have a hard time recovering because his mate basically rejected him when he turned on Zac."

Tears gather in my eyes at the mere thought of my Zac dying, all because of his stupid mate. The burning urge to kill that monster is so powerful, my whole body is shaking. Growls erupt from my throat as my anger surges to a level I have never experienced. I can feel my wolf scratching at the surface, demanding to be let out. He wants revenge for one of his pack members being harmed.

"Alex, calm down" Justin says, rubbing his hands over my shoulders.

"NO! I can't Justin! How can you be so calm?! One of your pack members, your best friend, is lying here dying and you're doing nothing!" I shout at Justin, my rage boiling.

"I'm the Alpha I have to remain calm and collected or the whole pack will fall apart."

"I don't care! It's like you don't care about anything! How can you be so heartless?! Your father just died and I haven't seen you shed a single tear!"

"What do you want me to do Alex?" Justin calmly asks. That calm voice is grating against my nerves!

"I want you to demand justice! I want you to care enough to cry, to feel some kind of emotion!"

"Alex, I can't demand justice, because the man who did this is Zac's mate! What would you have me do!? Kill his mate!?" Justin's eyes burn with fury as he finally looses his control over his temper.

My temper spikes when I see Justin's. "YES!"

"No, you don't, you know that Zac would never forgive you." Again with the calm voice!

"But, his mate tried to kill him!" I cry out in anguish.

"I would do the same."

"What do you mean?"

"If you tried to kill me, I would set you free. I would be able to live with myself if I was the reason you died." A dark look overcomes Justin's face as he stares at me.

"Don't you dare defend that monster! I would never betray you like that! I swear to all that is holy if you ever compare me to him I will rip someones throat out!" I scream at Justin.

"ENOUGH!" he bellows causing my wolf to cower in fear.

What have I done? I had to just keep poking the sleeping dragon didn't I? I'm such a fool, I always agitate people and pay for the consequences.

"Alex, you need to go to bed. You must be tired." Justin orders in a short, clipped tone. The blank look in his eyes leaves a pain in my heart. I've pushed him way to far now...

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HEY GUYS SORRY ABOUT THE LATE UPDATE THINGS HAVE BEEN HECTEC WITH STUDY FOR EXAMS! IT MIGHT BE 2 WEEKS BEFORE MY NEXT UPDATE BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS ONE! WISH ME LUCK FOR MY EXAMS HEHE!!

ANYWHORE....

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