Marriage Under Repairs

Chapter - 6

"Swara please believe me, I have nothing to do with Ragini's kidnapping. Why don't you believe me?"

"Swara stop. What about us? Kavita is my past. I have moved on. Don't be so mahaan for everyone."

"Don't leave my hand. You will fall down"

"Swara, why can't you trust me atleast once in your life? Do you think I will try to harm my own brother? Please don't leave me. I can't breathe without you. Please stop. For god sake please stop."

"Swara stop." Sanskar woke up abruptly, sweating profusely.

He was panting like he had just finished a marathon. He closed his eyes to find an equilibrium between his mind and heart.

"It's just a nightmare." He convinced himself. Last three weeks this nightmare again started haunting him.

Reason was obvious, Swara.

She was not in front of his eyes. She was miles apart from him.

He took the photo frame from the night table. It was Swara's picture. He caressed her smiling face.

"I miss you Swara." a drop of tear fell on the frame.

"I can't go away from you even if I want to. I can never run away from you. My every breath takes your name. These eyes only want to see you. My soul only recognizes your warmth."

"I know that the distance between us hurts you as much as it hurts me. And I don't care if the world turns here and there, but I can't see you in pain. Your one tear kills me. You have the power to bring me on my knees."

"Do you feel that it is easy for me to stay away from you? Avoid you? Absolutely no. But what should I do? The heart which used to beat with your love, now it is filled with fear of losing you."

"Every moment there is a fear that like last time I may say or do something wrong and you may leave me, taking my soul with you."

"Do you think it was easy for me to give you an ultimatum on that dreadful day? No Swara. It was my last attempt to stop you from leaving me. I thought, you will never leave me if our marriage is at stake but you... You left me, making me lifeless. I knew you were upset with me as I voiced some nasty words on the phone, I am ashamed of it even today. I wanted to apologise to you. I know, you wanted to be with Ragini but I also needed you. Why does our relationship always turn less important to you when it comes to others?"

"I gave a shit to all when they accused me for Laksh's missing but it killed me when your eyes were filled with accusations. Do you really think I can harm Laksh? Did you really think that way? You did not even listen to me. You just walked away."

"Now we are back together again, but I need this distance between us. It's a win-win situation for both of us to maintain such a distance. You can call me superstitious or whatever but... It has always happened that when everything is fine, then only a new storm comes between us and in that our relationship starts burning. And we fell apart. It's better to keep everything hanging, at least we both can stay together, at least I can see you first in the morning and call off my day seeing your face." Tears started rolling over his cheeks.

"I love to be dependent on you for every single thing but when you are not there I feel, I don't have any existence. It feels surreal when I return home these days, because I know you have returned but there is also this uncertainty when you will leave me again."

"Why? Why can't we have a normal married life?" He clutched her pic near his heart.

"A life which is filled with our love. I am not scared of any obstacles or any problems in our path but I need you by my side to face them. Why can't you understand the feeling of you being by my side is my strength? I can fight with the world when I have your hand in mine. But I cannot take a step without you Swara." He lies down on the bed staring at the ceiling remembering his moments with Swara.