Lilith (rewrite)

Chapter 9

Lilith

Look at me, is what I wanted to say to you. Talk to me every once in a while. Find me a cure for these tears, I'd really like to exhale for the first time in my life.

Her mind is going a million miles an hour again, desperately trying to figure a way out of the situation. There has to be something, anything, that she can say or do to stop Lorenzo from seeing her house. She's been building her reputation since she moved to her college seven years ago, seven years, all down the drain.

If he finds out, she knows he's going to tell all his mates, and his mates will tell their mates until the whole school knows her persona is a fraud. Lilith doesn't trust Lorenzo one bit, and she certainly doesn't trust that he won't jump at the opportunity to crush the already broken pieces of her life into dust.

Even the hum of the car does nothing to ease her nerves, but she forces herself to keep breathing and steady her heart rate. For some reason she feels like Lorenzo can somehow sense when she's scared, like if she doesn't control her stupid heart, he'll hear it's pulse beating erratically. It's crazy, and irrational, maybe she's just paranoid. Yeah, just paranoid.

She stares out the window at the trees whizzing past, and watches as raindrops roll down the glass; it reminds her of when she got on the bus as a child and used to watch them 'race' down the window to make the journey pass faster.

Now she stares at those droplets and imagines they're the tears that she's forcing herself not to release. She never cries, ever. She refuses to cry in front of anyone, especially Lorenzo. She tries to think of happy thoughts, but there are none. She doesn't have a single happy memory, any that were even remotely close to peaceful have been tainted; by what, she's not sure.

They're close to her house now, and she's surprised that Lorenzo hasn't spoken a single word to her since they got in the car. She was certain he'd immediately start grilling her about everything since now she can't escape or avoid him, but he's been completely silent the whole journey. His only interaction is to stare at her out the corner of his eye periodically.

They're so close to her house now, and her palms start to sweat. It's too late to get out of this, even if she had a way out of this. He's going to see where she lives. Where she really lives, not just the upper-middle class house she's fooled people into believing is hers.

"You can just drop me off here." Lilith says to fill the silence.

Lorenzo pulls the car up to the pavement and she watches in horror as he starts to get out the car.

"What are you doing?" She asks, ice dripping from her voice from sheer terror that he might try see inside her house.

Her dad's car is in the driveway and their crappy TV is turned on, he's awake and inside. Lorenzo can't get anywhere near her house. He just can't.

"Taking you inside, if you've got a bad migraine then I can't just leave you to walk to your room alone. You might fall." He explains, but she knows it's a trick. He doesn't even like her, let alone care enough to make sure she gets to her room safely.

Pure unadulterated dread fills her body as she realises what's about to unfold. She prays to whatever gods are up there that Lorenzo will leave quickly after she gets inside. She knows deep down he won't.

Lilith walks stiffly towards the house, having to force herself to keep walking when all she wants is to sink into the ground and disappear.

Gingerly, she pushes open the front door and Lorenzo walks in after her. She tries to be as silent as possible, as swiftly as possible and walks towards the staircase.