Lilith (rewrite)

Chapter 22

Lilith

I have survived so many fires I can no longer tell if I am alive or if I'm still burning.

She stubs out the blunt, letting the fuzzy feeling sit inside her for a minute. Her previous anxiety hasn't left, but it's muted, waiting quietly in a corner of her mind ready to come back with full force later. She rests her head on Enzo's shoulder, letting his even breathing ground her. His fingers tentatively begin to brush a few lose strands of hair out of her face.

She can't tell if it's the weed, or the fact that she's going to betray Lorenzo's trust tonight, or something entirely different; but she wants to kiss him. He's so beautiful, all dark hair and kindness. Her mind keeps telling her not to trust him, but she can't deny how safe she feels around him. He's the first person in her life that hasn't hurt her, and that means so much to her. The fact that she can even begin to indulge herself in the idea of kissing him speaks volumes of how well he's treated her.

"Hey, I got you something. It's not like a big present or anything, but I saw it and thought of you, so yeah. You don't even have to keep it if you want, you can return it if you don't like it, I still have the receipt." With that, Enzo passes her a small grey box with the receipt wrapped around it.

When she opens it, she's met with a bracelet. It's intricately designed, with a celestial star charm hanging off it made from silver and diamond as well as some pale blue crystals that have been crushed to look like moondust. It's beautiful. It's also exactly the type of jewellery she loves. Everything about it is so perfect, like it was made for her specifically.

"This is beautiful, Enzo. How did you find something so perfect?" Lilith says, not bothering to hide the awe in her voice.

"Well, I noticed you liked silver jewellery and that you only wear jewellery with delicate designs. I also know you really like stars and space and stuff, and that shade of blue. So, I thought you might like it. You don't have to pretend you like it if you don't, by the way." He says casually, as if the bracelet meant nothing. But to Lilith it meant everything.

"How did you notice all that stuff?" Lilith asks curiously, "And I'm never getting rid of this, it's gorgeous. It's too much though. I swear if you ever buy something for me again we're gonna have to have a serious conversation about you spending so much money on me." Lilith half jokes, but she's also serious. She already feels guilty enough about staying with him without paying any rent, she can't afford the guilt if he also starts buying her gifts.

"It's nothing, seriously. I wasn't lying when I said I have too much money than I know what to do with. If anything, you're doing me a favour by letting me spend a bit of cash on you." He dismisses her protests. "And, god this sounds weird as fuck, but I watch you a lot. I guess I kind of always have. I don't know how to explain it, but you draw me in. I've always noticed you, and I know before I acted like a dick because I thought you were just like the rest of your friends, but I still couldn't help wanting to watch you." Enzo admits sheepishly.

The urge to kiss him overwhelms her, and before she can even think she's reaching forwards and pressing her lips against his softly. For a second she thinks Enzo's going to pull away, he's practically a statue beneath her, but the next second he's gently kissing her back. It's slow, and so, so perfect. It's nothing like any of the other kisses she's had, fuelled by anger and need. This is full of care, and safety. It feels like Enzo is trying to reassure her just through the way he moves his lips against hers. But then he's pulling away slowly. He doesn't move far though, just enough to look into her eyes easily.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" He asks after taking in a steadying breath.

"Yes, absolutely yes." The words rush out of her quickly, and her head feels heady from the mix of joy and weed flowing through her. It's not enough for her to become completely irresponsible though, "Just to the kissing though, is that okay? I don't think I'm ready for anything else."