Lilith (rewrite)

Chapter 16

Lorenzo

The burn down my throat, the smoke in my lungs, it fills me with a warmth unlike any love, but comforting nonetheless.

Lorenzo needs a cigarette and a drink; he needs to clear his head. He needs to go to college though, he has a massive essay due this week which he hasn't even started yet. He guesses he'll have to multitask.

He sighs, and head up to her room. He needs to shower and change before doing anything else, he's still wearing the same clothes he wore last night. He never ended up sleeping, instead he stayed downstairs and watched TV most of the night whilst drinking. He knows it's a bad habit, to drink alone, but it's the only thing that quiets his mind slightly.

Evenings are always harder for him, it's when his memories of his childhood haunt him. He hasn't told Lilith about his own suffering as a child because he didn't want to take the conversation away from her. But he knows it would help her to see that he does truly understand, probably more than anyone else, what it's like to be scared of home.

He still feels slightly unsteady now; the alcohol hasn't quite left his system yet. The warmth of the shower helps though, clearing his mind again. He doesn't stay under its heat for long though before he grabs a t-shirt and jeans. He shoves a hoodie in his bag, but he doesn't bother putting it on yet, it's freezing outside but he's always liked the cold.

He knocks on Jess's door and opens it a few seconds later. She's the only thing that gets him through the day, and he tries every day to remind her of how much she means to him. She's more than just his little sister, she's his lifeline. He would do anything for her, as long as she's safe and happy.

"Come on Jess, time for school." He says quietly, and she jumps off her bed and starts throwing her clothes around, finding an appropriate outfit.

She settles on a white cotton top, with a purple butterfly on it and a pair of black quarter-length leggings. Enzo reminds her it's cold out and she grabs a zip up jumper.

It's not long before we're in the car, He's almost always late to college because of driving her to school. He can't drop her off any earlier because the school isn't open. Because she's so young her lessons don't start until 9:30am and his college opens at 8:30am, a whole hour earlier.

He doesn't mind though, he's never struggled with academics and he's let the staff know why he's always late and they were mostly understanding about his situation. Although some were less accommodating, luckily, they aren't his professors, so it doesn't affect him much.

The whole journey Jess has been talking nonstop, mostly about her friends at school and whatever drama is happening. She's only in year one but they seem to have a surprising number of 'couples' and their breakups are wreaking havoc across their year.

Enzo often envies Jess, how carefree she is that the most heart breaking thing she's been through is when her friend went through a really rough 'breakup' with one of the boys in their year she'd been dating for a whopping two weeks. His childhood was completely the opposite, every happy memory clouded by fear.

He's happy for Jess, really he is, but it's hard not to feel a pang of jealousy when he sees how easy her life is. But it makes him proud of himself, he broke the cycle of abuse by letting himself and Jess free. He doesn't regret his past in the slightest, because it's what has given him his present. He would do it all over again if it meant that Jess was happy and safe.

• • •

Lilith

She wakes up in Enzo's guestroom just like she did the day before. Two days at his house and she already feels antsy. She needs to be at her house, keeping her father satisfied that she isn't trying to run away because when she undoubtedly goes back the punishment will be worse the longer she's been away.