TW: some cursing.. Think thats all
Sometimes I think things would have been better if I had no friends at school. No. That only worked for elementary. Now, I would be bullied, possibly hit on, and unable to stand up for myself. I would be even more in my head. Possibly depression.
Only reason I think that is because I keep on thinking about all the mistakes I've made when interacting with my friends. And also because of a past friend group. They fucking suck. Friend A, B, and C is what I will call them.
Friend A.. I feel like they only interacted with me when they had no one else to. They used me for things. Used my kindness and inability to say no. I got in trouble multiple times because of them. Not fully blaming those times on them, it was also my fault too.
Friend B.. They were mean to me. Bully me about my shoes or just my appearance. What I did, what I said, what I liked. (though the whole group kinda did the liked part tho). They were like a brat. Would constantly complain about how bord they were when at my house. I OFFERED SHIT TO DO!! Didn't clean up a mess they made which obviously resulted in me having to clean it. That had me crying mid way. My mom had to come in and calm me down and they just watched and tried to be somewhat comforting. Later then made fun of me for it. Like damn. I already struggle with what emotions I should show and whether I should cry infront of my friends (IF THE TEARS EVER FUCKING COME!! ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE A REAL CRY! All other ones were 'fake tears' [tears caused by raised emotional level bc of hormones])
Friend C.. I have the least issues with them because they were the best to me. They were practically my twin. We even looked alike! But then suddenly, friend A had texted me saying that friend C didn't want to be friends with me anymore bc i had changed and was annoying. Luckily, I had three other friends at the school so I wasn't friendless.
I hate hearing them at lunch and I know they still make fun of me. (Teens - MCR started playing lol)
I question on whether they actually supported.
Friend A confused me because one week they were like, "Yeah I'm demigirl too!" the next week they denied ever saying anything like that.
I probably did make Friend C uncomfortable tho bc I took acting gay towards them too far..
Anyways, fuck them :D
