TW: none
The shit my friends deal with are worse than my problems. I always remind myself of that but that makes me want to cause myself problems. I think about it a lot. And they have gone through a lot. More than me at least. I'm told I should appreciate that my life is so nice but it's hard to sometimes. I also feel like I cause problems for my friends and I most likely do.
When people are like, "Wdym you look nice!"
"We truly care about you!"
"Your doing amazing."
"I'm happy with you being you."
and stuff like that, Chara says that its fake and I tend to believe that. Also believe that some people are my friends out of pity sometimes. I feel like people are judging me for every move, facial expression, and word. Thats why I walk through the halls with a neutral face and silent. I rarely talk to anyone outside of my friends and family. I fear random interactions with people. I'll panic a little and not think my words or actions through.
I feel like I have no cute little wholesome moments.
"I feel like hugging all my plushies." thats a wholesome moment
"I drew this for you as a gift!" *hands over small decorated piece of paper*
only two examples I can think of off the top of my head. I'm just sitting here. Being lazy, procrastinating, not eating the most healthiest of things, sometimes acting like I'm high or a bit crazy, just not wholesome or something people want to be around.
