17: SNAP

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RAIN

It's already past ten and Phayu still hasn't come home. I stood by the window as I watched three black cars enter the gate making me rub my arms to keep myself calm. After rethinking everything I want to ask Phayu, I told Sig to inform him that I'll be waiting in his study room. It wasn't long when I heard the door open, hearing footsteps before feeling him hug me from behind.

"It's late, why are you still up?" Phayu asked before planting a light kiss on my neck as I took a deep breath, here goes nothing.

"Phayu, I want to go home." I said and I felt him stiffen.

"I told you, it's not safe." Phayu said that same answer making me clench my teeth.

"Because of Jared?" I asked, tying hard to keep my composure.

"Yes." He answered calmly, as expected.

Taking in a deep breath, I held Phayu's hands that were wrapped on my waist. I want to hold him with all the chances I have tonight. For some reason, I feel that this would be the last time I could hold him like this.

"You know... when I was eight, I found an old family picture. It had both of my fathers and sisters in it. They looked so happy in that picture and I felt jealous. I went to my dad and asked where our father was but he began crying. I couldn't understand it back then but when I grew older, I finally found out that father left us." I recalled as Phayu quietly listened, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Father left us but dad never said anything bad about him. Then, I asked my sisters about him, about what really happened. They only said one thing... that he kept too many things from his husband."

I slowly pushed Phayu's hands off me before turning to face him, my heart racing as I looked at into his eyes.

"What do you think? Of what my father did?" I asked and he looked away for a second before looking back at me.

"He probably had his reasons, right?" he answered causing me to purse my lips.

"Just like you had yours?" I asked with a hit of sarcasm and annoyance.

"What?" He almost whispered with furrowed brows, his expression totally changing.

"When do you plan on telling me? That Jared's dead?" I asked and I felt his grip on my hands loosen, almost letting go.

"Rain, I..." his eyes shook as he thought of what to even say, he's probably surprised that how I found out about it.

"And you meeting with my father... care to tell me how you two know each other?" I added making him turn to me with what seemed to be a glare.

"How did you know?" He asked, his tone sounding like a threat than a question.

"Doesn't matter how I found out. I want to hear your explanation Phayu. I want answers." I insisted as his hands finally let go of mine before forming a fist.

"I... I can't tell you. Not now. I have to settle everything first." He said, only looking at me at the end of his words.

"Settle everything? And when would that be, huh? You expect me to just sit here and wait? Locking me up here forever?" I asked, my voice slightly shaking in anger.

Phayu looked at me as his eyes shifted to a different gaze. The agitated look he had changed to a worried one and it wasn't long when I felt my eyes teary. This is why I hate arguments because I always end up crying before I even state my point.

"Rain, please trust me, hm?" Phayu's voice went soft, almost pleading as he held my hands once again.

"I have, Phayu. I've been blindly trusting you all this fucking time. I try over and over again, convincing myself to understand everything but you... you just..." I paused as I felt my breathing go heavy, tears gushing down my face.

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