It's just a game. (Yan! Wilbur / Simpbur x Reader)

wow.

I haven't been in the dsmp fandom for a while. That much is obvious with the lack of chapters written or one shots published or anything. It has not been my top priority to write for ...well forever. I had been in the dream smp fandom since 2019. It has been 4 long years of this fandom, but the highlight of it? 2020. Days where I would spend my nights drinking monster, cosplaying, watching lore streams, manhunt videos, fantasize about what I would do if I were part of the smp, draw fanart, make edits, do anything to keep my mind off of quarantine. I was going through a really rough time in my life. The isolation of quarantine, my chronic depression, anxiety, the lack of motivation, the grief of a loved one, and the overall stresses of life. I used the dream smp as a sort of crutch in my life. I hate to admit this, but they truly did save me. If I would have never found them, I don't know where I would have ended up. I was obsessed, weird, and overall... cringey. It took over my entire life, and I would miss school assignments or meetings just for the opportunity to watch one of the lore streams. I wrote about theories or explanations of things that happened, or I would try to connect the dots that were strewn all over the place.

Boy, did I love it. What I would do to go back to those times, simpler times where I could just enjoy watching some people play minecraft. I was smitten with these youtubers. Hell, if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have my boyfriend. Honestly, although its eccentric, I think the dream smp is one of the most accepting fandoms out there-despite its negative reputation. There will always be toxic people in every group, whether you like it or not.

Don't even get me started on the exile arc. Now although pogtopia was my overall favorite arc, I loved watching the struggles Tommy had gone through with Dream. I would wake up early every day just to make sure I wouldn't miss the stream. I laughed with him, cried with him, everything. Words simply can not express how captivated I was by the entire era. I loved second of it, and would eagerly wait for the next stream the second one ended.

I gave my life to this fandom. I always tried my hardest to be active in the community, I wrote these stories, I drew fanart, and I even had made multiple editing accounts. I haven't been active with any of them because I had outgrown the fandom.

The first hit had to have been Technoblade dying. It was terrible and incredibly depressing. Technoblade had always been my favorite, due to our similar personalities. Monotone voices, sarcasm, odd humor, using jokes to cope, everything. I'm not going to lie to you guys, tears are welling in my eyes as I type this. I watched the video where he announced his diagnosis and began bawling. Throughout the posts that followed, I forced myself to believe he would get better, he would survive everything that was happening, but atlas, I was wrong. I loved Technoblade-I still do-, but it appeared to have been his time. His candle was blown out, the flame disintegrating, leaving nothing but melting wax and a burnt wick.

After that, I was just grasping at straws. The second, oddly enough, was Dream's face reveal. I don't know why, but I guess it was the anticipation that kept me on my toes that really helped. I'm glad he has gotten out of his shell, but I guess a part of me felt like this was too much. Too much change in such a short amount of time. The dream smp was no longer the same as when I first found it, and I had a difficult time accepting and adjusting to that.

Soon enough, the last lore stream of season one happened. I was lost. What happened to Tommy and Tubbo playing their discs on the top of that hill? Wilbur defending L'manberg from Dream? Dream, George, and Sapnap all hanging out together in the community house? Where Technoblade and Philza would make jokes in their house, or Technoblade would tease Dream because he was homeless. Then past that, where Dream went to jail and you could watch many streams of the people who visited him. Once Technoblade got locked in with him, I become a more avid watcher, waiting to see how he planned to break the two out of prison; and when Philza realized he read the note wrong, I was guffawing.

And I can't forget my favorite arc. Manberg vs Pogtopia. I love Jschlatt. As a content creator, he never fails to make me laugh. His acting fit his role perfectly, and I could not even fathom how well he did. His interactions with Tubbo and Quackity were amazing. When he first exiled the two, I was taken aback. I couldn't believe he had done it. But, Wilbur had done incredibly with the script, and after a while, I wouldn't want to have it any other way. This era is when Technoblade first joined the game, to try and aid Pogtopia. Then, Wilbur's death. God, that one hurt. Together, everyone did amazing in their roles, and if given the chance, I would rewatch everything for the first time again. I would never change anything that happened.

Hearing that the dream smp officially ended broke my heart. I don't know it hurt so bad; it just did. My most cherished memories were crashing in on me as I realized people would no longer really be in that fandom. No one can go back in time and live what I had been through

But, people grow up, and they outgrow things. Unfortunately, I was one of those people. Now, I know reading this, you might not even care. I've always just been another fanfic writer you read. You probably read thousands, so what would ever make this special?

The answer is I don't know. While writing this, I'm just trying to help explain my next action better.

Every dsmp fanfiction I was writing will be discontinued. I will continue to write on this account, but I'm afraid you guys might not care for what I write now. That's okay if so, I just thought I would give a formal explanation. All the books I have written will stay up, and I will be posting every oneshot idea I had in my book for unfinished works, though that will be all. After that, I will no longer be associated with this fandom.

I love you all. Every single one of you guys deserve the world and more. Without your support, I would have never continued writing as I did. You guys hell3d me come out of my shell, and I owe you all everything for that. The kind words I received helped me get through tough times and I wish nothing but the absolute best for you. All of you. I'm sorry everything has to end so abruptly, but that's the way the cookie crumbles, yeah?

"...And that's it. You wanted more? I did too, for a while, but there is no more. I would love to tell you that this is all a prank, and I'll keep writing once I find spare time, but, I haven't even seen them in my recommendation page for months. All we had was those 4 years and we grew, and we laughed, and we cried, and then, we outgrew each other. That's okay. We're all temporary anyway. It was never meant to last; we were just killing time." -@oogie69 on tik tok.