Casting Debbie

Chapter 17

Lou woke up late, feeling grumpy and sore. She sat up and stuffed a cracker in her mouth, then swallowed a pain pill. Normally, Debbie would've been in there by now, plopped on the bed next to her, asking what sounded good for breakfast.

"A toasted bagel and coffee," Lou said to the empty room. She sat on the edge of the bed for several minutes, regretting what she'd said to Debbie the night before. It was mean, just throwing it out there the way she had -that Debbie might have to leave her home. And go where? Where would Debbie move to on such short notice? Back to that shitty hotel in Hollywood she'd stayed at before?

Lou picked up her phone and tapped Debbie's number. No one answered, so she hung up, afraid she'd stumble over an apology and screw it up if she tried to do it over voicemail. A better plan would be to put on her bathing suit, sit in the hot tub, loosen her muscles up, drink a cup of coffee and then try to make amends.

***

The guesthouse door hadn't opened. Lou stared at it from the hot tub, willing it to open. After her designated ten minutes, she got out and went to the door, knocking twice.

"Deb?" She knocked again and punched in the code on the door lock. "Debbie?"

Lou stood there in her bikini, dripping water on the tiled floor and staring at an empty guesthouse. The bed looked like it hadn't been slept in. In fact, the place looked spotless. Usually there were clothes strewn on the floor and draped over the furniture. Debbie wasn't the tidiest person, Lou had noticed. She looked behind her and noticed that there were no shoes by the door. Debbie always left her flip-flops by the door.

"Shit," Lou whispered. She went into the bathroom and her shoulders fell as she let out a big sigh. She was gone. Debbie was gone. And so were all of her things. Lou sat on a lounger by the pool with her phone to her ear.

"Hey. Where..." she sucked in air. This was affecting her far more than she thought it would. "Where are you? Call me." She tossed her phone on the table and wrapped her arms around herself. "Dammit!" she whispered. And then she said it louder. "Dammit, Debbie!"

She couldn't sit there forever in her bathing suit, waiting for a damn phone call, so she put on her bathrobe and went into the kitchen. She'd make breakfast. Maybe that toasted bagel she'd wanted when she woke up would taste good. With a super thin layer of peanut butter and honey -the way Debbie made it.

Debbie. She made everything better. Even bagels. Lou sat at the kitchen table, one leg tucked under the other, her head in her hand, waiting for her phone to ring.

Her coffee was cold. Her bagel hadn't been touched. She'd yet to put clothes on. Why should she when no one was going to see her? But that wasn't like Lou. She had a routine; exercise, breakfast, shower, emails, etcetera, etcetera, fucking etcetera. The broken arm had ruined everything. And Lin's stupid idea. God! Why did she listen to him? But it wasn't all Linus.

The truth was, Lou didn't want to come out alone. She wanted someone on her arm, even if that someone wasn't necessarily in love with her, or vice versa. She was afraid of all the speculation; all the reasons people would come up with for her sudden 'lifestyle' change. Was she just sick of men? Did her divorce ruin her for men? Was she just trying something new, spiraling out of control or seeking attention?

No. Lou wanted the world's first impression of her as a gay woman to be one of having found true love, real love. Sure, it'd be temporary love, but wasn't it always in Hollywood? This wasn't Linus fault any more than it was Debbie's. Lou had brought this all on herself.

She picked up her phone again. "Lin, I think I messed up." As Lou said the words, another call came through. She looked at her phone. "I'll call you back. No, just let me call you back."

She stood up, pushing her chair back with her leg. "Deb. Debbie. God. Where are you?" Lou couldn't hide the desperation in her voice. "Your stuff, it's all gone."

"Yeah. I thought I'd save you the trouble of having to mull it over with Lin. I moved out."

Lou's eyes shuttered closed. "Where are you?" she gently asked.

"New York. I took the red-eye out last night."

Lou's eyes popped back open. "What? I didn't hear you leave last night."

"I tried to be quiet."

"So, why are you in New York?" Lou already knew the answer.

The ex-girlfriend. She had successfully managed to push Debbie back into Tammy's arms. Lou for the win.

"I'm tying up loose ends. Renting out my apartment, seeing some friends... my brother... stuff like that."

"Oh. I see."

"What do you need, Lou?"

"Um..." You. Back here with me. "Have you seen Tammy?"

"Yeah, she picked me up."

Lou went outside. She needed room to pace. "How did it go?"

"What do you mean, how did it go?"

"I mean... I don't know what I mean."

"She'd love to meet you. Huge fan of yours."

Lou stopped pacing. "Please tell me you're not taking her back."

"Why?"

"Because it's wrong what she did, Debbie."

"Since when do you care?"

Lou threw a hand in the air. "I care, okay? You know I care about you."

"I know you're afraid of me."

Lou shook her head in confusion. "Whatever. Just remember what she did and how it made you feel."

"We all have weak moments."

"Weak moments? Is that what you call someone who dumps you the second you lose your show? Is it called a "weak moment" when someone kicks you while you're down?"

"That's a bit dramatic."

"I'm a fucking actor! It's my God-given job to be dramatic!" Lou shouted.

Debbie got her coffee from the barista and found a quiet corner. "What do you need, Lou? I'm kind of busy right now."

"Don't hang up. Look... I feel bad about last night. I know I hurt your feelings. And I know I said you should probably move out, but now that you're gone, it feels wrong."

"Don't worry. Nothing's changed. We're still good as far as the show goes, as well as the other thing -the contract."

"What about us?" Lou asked. "Are we good?"

"I just told you, nothing's changed."

Lou started pacing again. "I don't believe you. I can hear it in your voice. You're mad."

"Lou, what do you want me to say?"

"That you'll move back in. I just panicked for a second, but I'm over it."

"Tammy just walked in. I have to go."

Lou heard a voice say, "Hello, beautiful." And then Debbie's voice.

"Hey."

Then, the phone went dead.

"FUCK!" Lou picked up her water bottle and threw it as hard as she could, then doubled over in pain. She plopped down on the end of a lounge chair, cradling her arm. She stared blankly as the tears started to fall.