Casting Debbie

Chapter 28

Lou stood by the limo for a moment, praying for courage.

Linus was keeping the paparazzi away and she couldn't see Tammy's parents anywhere nearby. She looked to her left and found Amita, who gave her a reassuring nod. She slowly made her way back to the gravesite. Tammy was sitting next to Debbie, an arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"It's time, babe." Lou held out her hand to Debbie. She looked up with a vacant stare. She put her hand in Lou's and stood up.

"Let her sit for as long as she wants." Tammy stood up and grabbed Debbie's arm.

Lou kept hold of Debbie's hand, completely ignoring Tammy. "Tell me what you need. Do you want to be here when they lower the casket?"

Debbie shook her head. "I can't watch that again. When they threw dirt on my mom..."

Lou removed the space between them and kissed Debbie's temple. "Shh... it's okay. I'll take care of it."

Debbie gripped the sleeve of Lou's coat. "Let me say goodbye," she whispered. She went to her brother's casket, keeping hold of Lou's hand. She set her other hand on the casket and immediately started to sob again. She leaned down and kissed it, then turned and fell into Lou's arms.

Gillian unrolled her window and tracked Tammy as she walked away. "That's right. You walk away like a good little girl." Amita gave Gillian a thumbs up. Gillian chuckled and returned the gesture.

Debbie leaned on Lou as they made their way back to the limo. Linus opened the door for them, and Debbie met his gaze. "Thank you, Lin. For everything." He gave her a nod and offered his hand, helping her into the limo. He did the same for Lou and Amita, and then closed the door. He eyed Tammy and her parents, standing by their car, watching everything as he tapped the roof of the limo, letting the driver know he could go.

"Thank you for coming, Mrs. Miller."

Gillian slid in the seat next to Debbie, wrapping her arms around her. "Call me Gillian, honey."

Debbie rested her head against Gillian's and let her emotions go again. Her hand reached for Lou's, finding it and squeezing it tightly.

***

Later that evening, Debbie opened her eyes and saw familiar wallpaper. Hotel. Dead brother. Funeral. Lou.

Not ready to face any of it yet, she pulled the covers up around her face and closed her eyes again.

Half an hour later, Debbie's bladder woke her up. She pushed back the covers and got out of bed, never looking behind her to see if Lou was anywhere in the room. When she came back out, Lou was back in bed and lifting the covers for her. Debbie climbed back in and Lou snuggled up behind, spooning her.

Debbie kept her eyes open for a few seconds, soaking in the warmth of the woman behind her. She rested her hand on Lou's arm and closed her eyes, refusing to care about what was real and what wasn't, because she didn't want any of the last few days to be real.

***

"Now's not a good time, Linus. It can wait."

Debbie opened her eyes when she heard Lou speaking in hushed tones across the room. "I don't care what she's saying and my husband can go to hell. Ex-husband... yes, that's what I meant. Tell them I have no comment. Pictures? I was drunk, but I don't think anyone took pictures."

Lou turned around and looked at Debbie when Linus asked about her. "She's devastated. Just like we'd all be if we lost families that young." Debbie squeezed her eyes shut, trying to fight back the tears again. She pulled the covers up over her head when her phone started ringing. "I have to go, Lin." Lou ended the call and walked over to Debbie's phone where it was charging on the desk. She saw Tammy's name and pushed the red button.

Debbie threw the covers off of her head. "Who was it?" She couldn't hide from the world forever.

"It was Tammy." Debbie motioned for Lou to hand her the phone. She listened to the voicemail and sat up. She put her feet on the floor but didn't stand up. Lou stood in front of her. "You're not going anywhere."

"I should shower."

Debbie fell forward a bit, resting her forehead on Lou's stomach. "I could run a bath for you. Would that feel good?"

Would anything ever feel good again? Debbie had her doubts. She'd given up on trying to stop the tears that just kept coming. "Debs?" Lou ran her fingers through Debbie's hair. "Tell me what you need."

She needed time to stop and then reverse a few years. She needed to tell her brother to eat better and not work so hard. She needed to make healthy dinners for him, instead of making him fend for himself. She needed to give him more of her time, not just holidays and a few Saturday mornings where they would catch up over coffee. For so long, he lived with a broken heart and then he died of one too. She could've prevented that, couldn't she? Couldn't she?

Debbie wrapped her arms around Lou's legs and hung on for dear life as another sob exploded from her chest.

***

"I don't know what to do for her. She won't eat the room service food. And the tears, Mom -they're constant. If she's awake, she's crying."

"Where are you?" Gillian asked.

"I'm trying a different tactic. I'm buying her favorite junk food." Lou grabbed a bag of Doritos and put them in her basket.

"Good idea. When are you heading back to L.A.?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Lou, honey, listen to me. You're doing everything exactly right. She'll probably want some space eventually, but right now, she needs your constant support. Don't leave her alone for very long. Be there for her, and in time, the tears will subside."

Lou breathed a sigh of relief. She was starting to feel a little bit helpless in the face of such grief. "Thank you, for being at the funeral. I know Debbie really appreciated it too."

"Of course, dear."

Lou put her basket full of snacks and drinks on the counter. "Mom, I have to check out, now."

"Okay, honey. Keep me posted. And if I can help, you know I'm here for you both."

"I will. Bye, mom."

***

Lou was halfway down the hall when she suddenly slowed her pace, shocked at what she was seeing. Debbie had just stepped out of the hotel room, fully dressed.

"Hey, what are you..." She stopped dead in her tracks when Tammy walked out of the room behind Debbie. Lou hadn't been gone that long, had she? Maybe an hour at the most. Just long enough to make a few phone calls and pick up some food. She eyed them both and then said, "Going somewhere?"

Debbie adjusted the purse on her shoulder and stuffed her hands in her coat pockets. "Just for coffee."

A few awkward seconds of silence passed between the three of them. "You haven't eaten anything. You need more than coffee." Lou held up the grocery bag. "I bought your favorites. Doritos, Snickers, ice cream..." Lou trailed off.

Tammy took Debbie's elbow. "I'll make sure she eats some real food."

Debbie took the few steps needed to be face to face with Lou. "Thank you," she said. "The funeral. Everything you've done for my brother. I can't thank you enough." She gave Lou a quick hug and walked away.

Lou stood there, speechless. What was she supposed to say or do? Just before they turned the corner and disappeared, she shouted. "Debbie!" Debbie stopped and turned around. Stay with me. Lou forced the words back down. "Eat something. Soup. Eat soup." Debbie managed a smile and nodded. Tammy put a possessive arm around her and urged her down the hall.

Soup? Fucking soup? Is that all Lou had? What about, you're not going anywhere with her! Or, I'm definitely not okay with you spending time with your ex. Because even if this was all fake, they were still supposed to be acting like their relationship was real, weren't they? Lou tossed the bag of junk food on the bed and groaned in frustration. It was going to be a long evening.