Dream // Van McCann

21. Mia

The park was within walking distance from the hotel. Even though it was just a park, I went out of my way to check it out beforehand. I wanted to be familiar with the place so I wasn't surprised by anything. There was a massive playground complete with a swing set and a large, grassy field off to the side. I reckon this is where Mia plays footy. You can tell this park is loved since the community keeps it well-maintained.

It was midday so there weren't many people around but you'll see the occasional parent taking their kid to the park to play. I watched as a mum went down the slide with her baby. Her baby laughed and she kissed her baby on the head. I imagine Clara didn't have the luxury of taking Mia to the park to play. And then I found the bench I sat on in my dream.

I didn't really have a plan on how to approach Mia. My hope was that everything would play out like it did in my dream, minus her dad. I'd sit on the bench, she'd accidentally kick her ball to me, and then she'd recognize me. Who knows what'll happen after that. I have to tread carefully because one wrong move can mean that she cries out for help and I'll get the police called on me.

The photos of Clara and I in Llandudno are still in my wallet just in case. It's been 8 years but the both of us are recognizable, and I can show Mia the pictures if needed. I probably don't need it because I still remember a lot of things about Clara. A stranger wouldn't know this much about her mum.

Florence was careful to keep her distance, though she took every opportunity to remind me to be careful and to call her if I needed anything. To stop herself from stressing out, she took an Uber to Ponta da Piedade and decided to make a day of it. I'm not sure what her logic was. Maybe it's just me but I would've chose a different place as there are too many memories of Clara there. Being there would stress me out even more.

When it was 15 minutes past when she'd get out of school, I sat on the bench which was unclaimed for the most part. I don't like sitting still, especially when I'm waiting on someone so I took a cigarette out and lit it, tucking the packet back in my breast pocket. Am I even allowed to smoke near the playground? Probably not but there was no one around to say anything.

And that's when I saw her. Mia trotted onto the field carrying her ball with her. She was already changed into clothes fit for playing football, her brown hair braided back so it wouldn't fall in her face. She took her backpack off and placed it somewhere she could keep an eye on at a distance and ran towards the center of the field to warm up.

At a distance, she appeared to be the same age and about the same height in my dreams. Although she was small, she was strong, with a look of determination on her face. She did some stretches and began doing high knee runs. It was unusual to see her by herself with no friends and no supervision but I reckon she's been brought up to be quite independent by her mum. She will learn to enjoy her own company.

I finished my cigarette and watched as Mia kicked the ball towards the trees, which I assumed was her goal. Mia dodged imaginary players expertly as she shot a winning goal. She didn't give herself much time to celebrate, quickly grabbing the ball and starting again. If she keeps it up, I see her getting far if that's what she wants.

She kept it up for some time and I got tired of watching her run back and forth so I focused my attention elsewhere. My eyes wandered around the park looking for someone who fit her dad's description but I couldn't find anyone. And then I looked around for Clara just in case.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see something small and fast rolling towards me. I braced myself to catch the ball but Mia was even faster, stopping it with her foot. She looked at me apologetically.

"Desculpe," she said, out of breath, picking up the ball. She was panting from all the running. You could see her chest heaving up and down from the exertion. She could've gone on her way but instead, she stood there watching me. I watched her, picking out the similarities to her mum.