Dream // Van McCann

26. I Finally Understand

Smell is one of the most powerful senses. It can evoke feelings and memories the way that no other senses can. Such as the smell of food that reminds you of your mother's cooking, or waking up to an empty bed but smelling your partner's perfume in the sheets. I honestly thought it was just me who noticed those kinds of things but hearing Florence say that she could smell me before seeing me was endearing.

Never once did it cross my mind that the smell of my cologne could linger in the room. Rafael must be used to all of Clara's perfumes so to smell something new and unrecognizable must've been jarring. I, too, would wonder if she was cheating on me. It was never my intention to get Rafael involved though, especially now that I've learned he has no idea about me. A small part of me was hurt that she's still hiding me from everyone.

"Would you ever tell him about me or would you just let him find out on his own?" I asked, curious. I couldn't see her eyes but I knew she was staring right at me.

"He knows I don't like talking about my past so he doesn't ask. He's smart and I have no doubt he'll eventually find out, but for now, I'd rather not tell him. I need more time to decide," she responded. The way she said "I need more time to decide" excited me. That meant she was thinking about it. The fact that she brought it up herself made it easy to continue the conversation.

"What's stopping you?" Clara took a long, drawn out sip of water to no doubt buy herself more time.

"Lots of things but we don't have time to talk about it."

"Yes we do. Or at least we can try. Why don't we start with one and talk about it?"

"Here? Where people can hear us?" Her voice was tense. It was clear she didn't want to talk about it, let alone discuss it in a public place.

"Do you know what the people sitting next to us are talking about?" I asked calmly.

"No. I was busy looking at the menu."

"Exactly. They're too busy and caught up in their own lives to listen to our conversation."

"Well now I'm done ordering so I can listen to their conversation," Clara tried and I chuckled.

"That's not the point! That's cheating, by the way. They're tourists trying to figure out how they're gonna get to Ponta da Piedade."

"How did you know? Were you listening to their conversation?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"No, I made that up," I replied, smirking and I could've sworn she rolled her eyes.

"I can't believe you! You haven't changed at all! Still the same cheeky bastard." Clara crossed her arms and looked at her daughter who was confused by the interaction. Clara then looked at me with a slight smile on her face. I'm annoying but I'm charming and she knows it.

Although we were teasing each other and bickering, I was relieved the feelings weren't as strong as they were before. I used to enjoy riling her up to get her attention. There was a time that she was all I thought about but now I can tease her and be normal about it.

"I'm...I'm afraid of my parents," she started. The waiter stopped by to drop off our food, unaware that he was interrupting an important conversation.

"Quem pediu o frango piri-piri?" he asked. Although my Portuguese was poor, I recognized piri-piri.

"That's me," I said, raising my hand. He set the plate down and once everyone got their order, he left.

"Your parents love you," I assured her. She was their only child and their whole world.

"They were very upset with me when they found out I was pregnant. They wanted me to have an—" She stopped herself and looked at Mia who was busy dipping her chips in ketchup. "Como é a comida?"