Dream // Van McCann

24. I Feel the Same Way

Clara had me over for dinner which was basically leftovers from yesterday and now we were sat around the table having pastéis de nata and tea which paired well together. The entire time, we were stealing glances at each other and have even caught each other staring a few times but we didn't say anything. We haven't seen each other in so long so it was natural to be curious. Never did I think we'd reconnect after so long and there was so much I wanted to ask but I didn't want to overwhelm her.

I asked how she liked it in Portugal. All her life, she's moved from country to country. It must be strange to be in one place for so long but that's all she ever wanted.

"I love it here but feel like I've not had the chance to properly explore it," she answered. "The weather is nice and it's a beautiful place. Life is slow here but the only downside is that there's not much work. Most of the work revolves around hospitality."

"Where does your husband work?" I chanced. Clara didn't flinch at the word. They've been together so long that they're practically married.

"He's a hotel manager at one of the biggest hotels here but he works second shift, hence the late nights. We've talked about moving to Lisbon for more work opportunities but alas!" Clara gestured to everything to infer her whole situation. "What about you? I can't believe you're still in Seattle!"

"I'm not with DecodeREM anymore. I'm at a startup but I'm still working on dreams." I figured there was no harm in telling her what we were working on. "We've figured out how to share and visualize dreams."

"What do you mean by that?" I smiled because this was my favorite part—explaining the work that I do. It's been a while since I've explained it to someone but I still had it memorized.

"We developed a software that can visualize dreams in real-time. The probes read electrical signals from the body and the software translates them into images. These images are then sent as signals back to the body in one continuous loop. It's kinda like VR...y'know...virtual reality minus the headgear and you're actually still physically asleep." Clara's eyes were so wide that I couldn't help but laugh. She still has that childish innocence about her that I've come to know and love.

"That's just...mind boggling," she managed. "Why aren't more people talking about this? This can change the future!"

"I'm not sure what we're working on is technically legal. There are no laws governing dreams and we don't really want to open that can of worms."

"So how are you even making money?"

"We're asking the same question. Everyday, I wake up wondering if I'll still have a job but it's been like what? 7 years? Our sponsor is a rich, old man with a ton of money to burn."

Clara laughed. "You haven't really changed."

"I dunno about you but I'd like to think I'm wiser, richer, and more handsome!" Clara burst into laughter and covered her mouth with both hands when she realized she was being too loud. Her daughter was upstairs sleeping. She was bummed her mum told her to go to bed because of school.

"Do you plan to live in Seattle forever or do you want to go back to the UK?" she asked.

"Well my girlfriend's here. In Seattle, I mean. And we've not discussed the logistics of it yet. I love my job and don't see myself leaving anytime soon unless that old fart dies, then I'm SOL." Clara laughed and covered her eyes. "That was who answered the phone that one time you called."

It felt strange telling Clara that I have a girlfriend, not that I'm ashamed Florence is my girlfriend. Some part of me wondered if Clara still had feelings for me. Even though I love Clara, I realize now that I just see her as a friend. It's strange to me when she mentions Rafael but I know that he's a better match for her than I am.