Our Little Home

5

TW: The upcoming chapters will handle sensitive topics such as trauma and mental health.

xxx

Sivaanya, for the first time, was completely lost. A myriad of emotions engulfed her, but she felt too blank and overwhelmed to be able to process any. 

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to console him. She just knew that she had to be very particular about her choice of words, because his job meant a lot for him. 

Silence was omnipresent. 

Understanding her prolonged silence could take his brain in directions that weren't the best route for the situation, she did what she thought was the best for the moment.

Her hands slowly wrapped around him, pulling him in her embrace for tight, warm hug. She kept running her hands through his black locks, whispering "it's going to be alright" in his ears. 

He pulled out from her embrace, and quietly dragged her to the sofa to make her sit beside him, before laying down on her lap. The couch was undoubtedly to small for his figure- possibly why half his leg was hanging outside the limits of the seat. 

Her one hand continuously patting his chest, while the other kept caressing his cheeks. 

A pregnant pause was broken, when she began speaking. 

"Want to talk about it, or quiet time?"

"T- talk", he replied, voice trembling and almost inaudible. It pained her heart to hear him speak this way, but she realized she had to acknowledge the emotions he felt, and that everyday couldn't be sunshine and rainbows. 

"I saw the letter on my table when I reached work. Letter of Dismissal for sustained poor performance!", he let out a sarcastic laugh, before continuing. 

"I immediately went to the manager's office to ask him about this. He just said the letter is self-explanatory and left the room. I have never felt so deceived. The entire situation seemed absolutely unfair. For weeks, I was being accused for poor performance, when the impact and statistics of my proposed plans, show an entirely different tale. Yesterday, for a blunder the finance team committed, I was help responsible. I can only give him the marketing budget- how is it my fault if he didn't prepare the annual budget."

"Before I left the office, the team lead mentioned that none of this was my fault. There was a lot of pressure from our biggest investor to have me removed- avaru than ma, unoda amma patha mapallai."

Things took a U-Turn in Sivaanya's mind. She felt almost millions times worse and a feeling of guilt completely overtook. To know that she was somewhat the reason behind his job loss killed her, because she knew just how much this job meant for him. 

Looking at the way, her face changed and movements stilled. Aravind was quick to brake her trance. 

"Ma! Don't feel guilty, please. You are no way related or involved in this. Namakula enda secrets-um iruku venna, which is why I told you. Please don't blame yourself for someone abusing their power." He spoke quickly, and placed a kiss on her tummy.

"Still, I'm really sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't know they would stoop so low."

"Oii, ladoo! It was never my intention to make you feel guilty. I just felt there shouldn't be any secrets between us. There are other things that's bothering me."

"Ma, I feel so empty and dead inside. It feels like I have reached the end of the road and my journey stays still here. Before you came into my life, intha vela than enoda first hope. For the first time in my life, I wasn't a financial burden to someone. Romba bayama irruku!"

"I can understand your fears. But you need to realise you are super talented and are an asset to any team that you join. You finished a dual degree - your masters and bachelors- at the age of 24. That's show so much about your time management skills and your perseverance. You did all that because you didn't want to be a burden to the orphanage and the couple who decide to support you."

"You are never alone on this journey.  I will always be with you. Take a few days rest, think what you want to do next in life. We have enough savings to run a year. If not, we can break the 2 undiyals- 'kid one' and 'kid two' and the save up later for them."

"NO! we will not touch those money banks. Na iruntha antha situation la namma kozhandai irruku kodathu. Enuku final settlement varum athula manage panalam."

"Let's look into this later. Now close your eyes and sleep for sometime."

He closed his eyes for few seconds, before opening them, while looking at her with his puppy eyes.

"Pattu padu", he whispered, before snuggling into her stomach, after receiving a little peck on his lips.

×××
What was supposed to be a 15 minutes nap, turned out to be a 6 hour rest. He would have arguably slept for longer, if he didn't feel this intense heat on his chest. Getting disturbed by this change in temperature, he woke up to find a laptop on his chest and an intense-looking Sivaanya typing something, while holding a calculator. 

"Oii, enna panra? Sooda iruku!" he began speaking in his after-sleep voice, just to have his mouth covered with her palm. 

"Ayiram vatti solliruken! Do not speak as soon as you wake up. As it is you have a deep voice, ithula thoongi eluthirucha innum 10 adi deep-a poguthu. Enaku thana tickle avadhu!"

He purposely took a deeper tone, before asking: "Enga tickle avadhu?" and just as he decided to speak more, he was interrupted with multiple slaps on his chest. 

"Valikudu, ma! Ma, Valikudu! Ratchasi, Pei.. amma!! Valikudu."   

"Ipo valli poirucha", she asked, rubbing his chest. 

"Hmm.. ippo jolly a iruku! Ama, ne enna panra yenna laptop stand mari use pani?"

"Oru spreadsheet open panni, onoda final settlement vachi evalo months run panalam nu check paniney. After all cost-cuts and budgeting, solid a numba one year ku pollam."

"Thank you, ma!"

The couple decided to call it a day after having dinner together. While Sivaanya had some trouble sleeping, she was able to enter her dreamland after an hour. On the other hand, Aravind couldn't catch a blink of sleep. Sivu was an open book- you could understand her emotions just by looking at her face. Probably why, Aravind was able to understand the turmoil she went through when he was disappointed. He decided he wouldn't open up about all his emotions at once, so he slowly got up and left to the balcony. 

There was a strong sense of guilt that was enveloping him. Thousands questions rose, but none were answered. 

"Maybe, I could have done something better" "What if it actually was based on poor performance?" "Should I call them ask for another chance?" 

The overtaking guilt made him go over all his projects in the past few months, and the projects that seemed perfect now looked incomplete to him. He made a lot of changes to those plans and suddenly in his eyes, it still short of perfection.

A voice inside his mind began speaking: "Intha mari project plan submit panna appo vella than pogum" "It's absolutely your fault" "Even without the influence of the investor, you would have still lost your job!" 

And just like that he lost a day's worth of sleep, but didn't know it was the start of journey he never expected. 

xxx

Hello 👋
I don't know if you all noticed but Aravind saves a lot for a 27 year old, and is very anxious about the future.  Any guesses why? 💜