𝑩𝑬𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑺 | 𝐽𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝐵𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑎𝑚

𝟏𝟗 - 𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕

𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒂𝒚, 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉 𝟏𝟎𝒕𝒉, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟗 (𝐸𝓅𝒾𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓊𝑒)

ANXIETY. Never, never in my life, have I been so anxious about anything. What the hell, I was nominated for an Oscar. My leg was shaking continuously, Jude put his hand on my leg trying to calm me down. He didn't seem too nervous, in his mind that award was mine. I wanted to believe it, but it's not a simple award, It's a Oscar!

— Stop with that, I'm sure you'll win. - I looked at him, who had that usual smile

That smile that has enchanted me since our first meeting some seven years ago.

He gave me a kiss and returned his attention to the stage. I held his hand tightly when I saw the presenter lift the envelope. It felt like my whole life was passing by in slow motion. I looked at our hands, paying attention to the wedding ring that seemed to have been there yesterday. I remembered all the awards I had watched him win and vice versa. I remembered the excitement I felt when I found out that I would be in a Marvel movie, just like my mother, a movie that brought me to this award ceremony now.

— And the Oscar goes to ... — the woman opened the golden envelope approaching the microphone — Flora Tomei!

Oh my God. What? Oh my God!

I felt my body being pulled into an embrace still in a trance.

— You did it, I knew you would.

— Thanks! I love you. — I pulled away from his embrace and headed toward the stage.

In my mind anything could happen to go wrong. Could she have read my name wrong? But there was no name that looked like mine. What if I tripped over the dress and fell? But maybe it could be a historic fall like Jennifer Lawrence's. What if I drop the Oscar. There is no way I can do that.

I arrived on the stage while holding my black dress that was now glowing brighter than a Christmas tree. I held up the award thanking the women. Shit, I don't know what else to say except thank you. I seemed to break into a cold sweat, the dress seemed to get tighter by the moment, showing all my curves, which I would hate if it did. I held up my necklace looking for it in the audience, soon finding it with a proud smile. At that moment I appreciate that all the words appear in my mind.

— Oh my god, i can't believe i'm really here. Since I was about nine years old it has been my dream to be here, and now I am twenty-five and finally here. So, I just want to thank everyone who helped me get here, everyone who supported me and believed in me. Everyone at the academy, my mother, my husband, there are so many people I wish I could mention here. — I said trying to control the tears that insisted on falling — I don't even know what to say. This Oscar is not only for me, but for all the women, men, black people, and especially the people who were rejected without even having a chance to show their potential. Keep insisting, because one day they will see your potential and I am sure you will make it here. Thank you very much!