ᴄᴀʀᴇ // ᴋᴀᴛꜱᴜᴋɪ ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏᴜ

𝐱𝐢𝐱. 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝

tw :: swearing, nightmares, pstd (kind of), anxiety/anxiety attacks, mention of death

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"𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, 𝐒𝐎 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐎 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇.,

💥

i gasp loudly, shooting up straight in my bed with wide eyes. my body doesn't move for a moment as i stare blankly into the surprisingly bright room. soon, my body hunches forward and i pant heavily, my breathing uneven. my face goes into my hands as i try to control my shaky breaths.

this was a reoccurring thing. no matter how hard i tried to stop thinking about y/n's parents, the nightmares just wouldn't stop, making it impossible to forget. the more nightmares i had, the more i thought about it throughout the day. it felt like i was trapped in a never ending cycle.

i turn my head just enough to see the clock and let out a sigh. it wasn't early enough for the group to start training, but it wasn't late enough to lay back down. damn it. i guess i'm starting early.

i roughly toss the blankets off of my body, grabbing a random shirt and throwing it on over my sweatpants. i felt exhausted as i quietly trudged my way out of my dorm and down the stairs. it was that time of day where the sky was practically grey, as if it were dead- if that were possible.

the air outside was rather cold, but my body still felt like it was sweating. of course, with my quirk i was typically warmer than most people were, even in the cold- but this was different. it was almost unbearable, like no matter what i did nothing would cure the heat radiating from my body. i hated it.

by the time i reach the place we usually rather to train, my body feels as if it's going to collapse. i can feel myself sweating, and the wind feels non-existent. i allow myself to sink to the floor, using the extra time to try and get ahold of myself.
it doesn't matter how i feel. i can't allow myself to act like this in front of anyone. it's pathetic.

what is this strange feeling? why won't it leave? why does it feel like everything is my fault? i know there's nothing i could've done, i had never even seen y/n in my life when the events transpired. but that was part of the growing irritation in my mind.

why didn't i know her? if i did i would have been able to help in some way, right?

is she miserable? are all her words lies- has she ever been happy? was i making it worse? was i hurting her? did i reopen the wound when i made her tell me? when i made her tell deku?

as shitty and annoying as my parents are, i don't even want to begin to imagine what it's like to be completely without parents. to have them stripped away from you at such a young age.

but not an age to where they were never really in your life. no. an age that forces you to remember every gruesome detail about who they were, how they left, and how everything was your fault.