Suppression

Regretful Words

The park was not all different from the one in Little Whinging, Harry noted. A bit more spacious, yes, but still very peaceful and surprisingly not busy save for the few young children that milled about. He stopped and stared as two children, a boy and a girl, apparently exchanged rocks. The boy must have given the girl a particularly nice rock as she planted a kiss on his cheek, forcing him to blush deep red. The event warmed his heart and he glanced over to Hermione who was also watching the children intently.

Harry knew what was coming when Hermione turned to him after the children left. He resolved to say nothing to her, no matter how much she pressured him. She couldn't know what happened that night in the graveyard. She couldn't know that he'd been dreaming of her death for some time now.

"Harry...Harry we need to talk." Hermione sat down on a nearby bench while Harry remained standing, a resolute look on his face.

"Hermione," Harry took a deep breath and looked at her intensely, "I told you. I don't want to talk about this. You already know why it's happening. That should be enough."

"It isn't. What could be so bad that it leaves you screaming in agony?" Hermione passionately answered. "What do you see when they happen?"

"They're just memories," Harry deflected.

"You told me they were memories of last year. What from last year?"

Harry gritted his teeth in frustration and felt his magic flare out before he reined it in. He half expected Hermione to be scared of his display but she was still looking at him intently, determined to get in his head.

"A lot," Harry coolly told her.

"That's not good enough, Harry."

He could sense she, too, was losing patience and readied himself for an argument. Inwardly, he hoped it wouldn't end like her arguments with Ron. Those usually left her crying in a mess and he didn't need that on top of everything else he was dealing with. "It's all you're getting," he began to pace back and forth, "that's all I'll say so just drop it."

At his declaration, Hermione darted from her seat to stand toe to toe with Harry. Her signature glare was painted on her face as she stared directly up at Harry with her hands rested on her hips. The two locked eyes and knew they were in for a long war.

"DROP," Harry gritted his teeth, "IT."

"No."

The angry wizard sighed frustratedly and swept his hands through his air. "You don't need to know what I see in those nightmares," he muttered as calmly as he could.

"Yes I do." Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose as she struggled to maintain the tenuous peace between them.

"Why?"

Hermione looked affronted at the question. The witch couldn't believe the audacity of him to even ask that of her. She cared about him, he was her best friend. He couldn't be this daft, he just couldn't.

"Excuse me, Harry Potter?" Hermione prowled over to him as he backed up away from her.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you can't do anything to help me get rid of them," Harry maintained his resolute demeanor, "even if you knew what I was seeing."

"So then why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Hermione coldly questioned.

"Because...I just don't want to talk about it, alright," he lowly sighed, "what's the point in making me relive it when there's nothing I can do to fix it? I wake up and I forget about it until I have to go to sleep again."

"And you think that's healthy?"

Harry surprised himself when he laughed sarcastically at her. It was a stupid question, regardless. When had he ever been healthy in his life? Mentally, physically, it didn't matter. Healthy living was such a foreign concept to him.