Their Person

Chapter 21: Run, Apologies and Regrets

Chapter 21: Run, Apologies, and Regrets

August 2015

The tour was in full swing. August had just begun, and Serenity was staring out the window of her hotel room in Chile. She was up most of last night helping the editing team on her computer with the first official episode of BTS run. She introduced the concept to the group earlier this year, but they fought it due to having resentment towards her. The fans loved the Bangtang bombs on their YouTube channel, and the group didn't like doing variety shows and truthfully didn't have time with how busy their schedule have become. She decided to eat a small breakfast and sleep until the afternoon. The group was rehearsing at the stadium for tomorrow night's concert. Room service arrived, and she ate then fell asleep.

Serenity awoke to a knock on her door. She threw on her robe and went to answer it. Namjoon stood on the other side. She smiled and allowed him entry. "I knew you were up all night. The episode was great. We all enjoyed watching it. It really was a great idea Noona, the fans are responding well", He said. Serenity nodded and opened her computer to look at reactions to the episode. Namjoon sat on the couch and stared around the room. He wanted to say so much to Serenity, but I wasn't sure he could. "Noona, can I speak freely with you?"he asked. "Of course Namjoon," she replied. He fidgets slightly, trying to get comfortable. He sighed loudly, "Noona, i want to talk about what happened between us. I won't speak for the others. They want to talk to you themselves. I just wanted to explain why I did what I did. You see Ren, I do love you, but I feel that stemmed from you taking care of me. You came into my life when I was depressed and praying for a miracle. You were that miracle. You saved our debut, our company, and would non-stop saving us from anything and everything. You did everything you could to make us happy, and I figured you always would, no matter what stupid thing I did. I never took into account how you would feel because I always thought you would forgive me. I was so stupid, I realized now that I took advantage of you, your kindness, and your heart. I'm so sorry about that. You did nothing wrong, and you have to know that. When Gfriend started showing up, we all told them we were involved. They continued to pursue us, and you were so busy taking care of other things that their poisonous words stuck with us. I'm not blaming them, and I'm definitely not going to validate my actions. However, I'm only just realizing what it cost me. I'm lost, I want to return to the time before I messed things up so bad. I know there isn't a chance for forgiveness, but I hope someday in the future to see the same look in your eyes that you used to have, even if it's not with me or the others. I wish for your happiness, Ren, we all do. Please forgive me and live happily. I will always love you, I mean it. I had pictured all of us growing old, having a family with lots of children. I pictured our future, and I destroyed that. I'm so sorry, "he said. Serenity closed her laptop. She walked over to the couch, sat next to him, and took his hand in hers. "Namjoon, I already forgave all of you," she states. He smiles and squeezes her hand. Serenity sighs, "However, forgiveness and forgetting are two different things. I will never forget what happened between us. I love you all so much. It hurts my heart to think that we lost what we could have been. Yet, I feel that I have to put myself first, and by doing that, I need to let you all go. I will always be here for you, as a friend, a boss, and someone you can rely on. Please do not have hope that we will ever be something we are not. That we can ever be what we were. Our time together was amazing, and I will cherish the happy memories. That's what they are, though, memories. The hurt caused by you all has not destroyed my memories that I cherish, but the pain is too much to even fathom moving on with any of you in a relationship. You say you love me, but your actions do not portray that. You don't do what you all did to someone you love, "she finishes. Namjoon stares at her in pain. Tears fall from his eyes as she explains to him that the dreams he had of a living a future with her will never come true. It was too late. He had done this to her, and he has to live with the regret of losing her. He nodded. "Thank you for hearing me out," he said and stood to leave. Serenity escorted him to the door and closed it behind her. Namjoon stood on the wall adjacent to her room and slid down the wall. He sobbed, finally understanding the repercussions of his actions. The price of his mistakes was her, and it was so painful. Jin found him in the hallway and helped him to his room. He stayed with Namjoon until he fell asleep.