GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 90 : WILL

I Forced myself not to look back
It would only be more painful knowing she won't be beside me
I never intended to drag Mon into my problems
I'm sorry that u had to see me like this Mon

I really am sorry
it was uncalled for and u didn't deserve that
Nobody does

I went through it once so I know how much it can break a person

I didn't want to let u go through that Mon
but somehow my mind and my heart were battling and I just gave up fighting

U know I'm a coward right Mon?
In the end i just didn't want to die alone

Deep down i was still hoping you'd tell me that you wanted to stay with me too

Not as your now but as your future

Since if I had to live in a future without u Mon then it is better to just really die

People can call me pathetic
I don't care what they think of me
All that matters to me is you
I guess I really just loved u too much Mon.
i'm sorry if I smothered you

I didn't know how to let u go
If only I did, you wouldn't have been hurt like this again

Yeah that's right!
You messed up again Sam!
Why are u so dumb?
You're too cruel!
You're too selfish!
I told u, all u do is ruin her life!

So don't turn back now!
She deserves someone better!

Someone sane not like u! Hahahaha

It wasn't my fault!
You! You bewitched me!
I only followed your instructions!
You're the one that pushed me!

Really? Now u blame me?!
Even until your last moments
all u still do is pass the blame to someone one!
When will u admit it?
U wanted this too!
U wanted an escape right?
You're a coward! Pathetic!
I just drove some sense Into u
So u won't hesitate again
You don't deserve another chance Sam!

It's too late to hesitate now
I'm in too deep
I also have nothing left so u have nothing to worry about
I'll give u what u want
At least when i'm dead i'll stop hearing your voice right?
Hahaha i guess i won't be dying alone today after all!

I kept pushing forward and
Now my feet could no longer touch the ground

I let the waves carry me and drag me underwater

Now I was surrounded by the silence and the tranquility of the water around me

I stopped to check if the voices were still there and thank God that it wasn't!

Everything is so peaceful!
The voices stopped!
The pain stopped!

I was starting to feel numb and I was thankful!