Straight from the academy

29.

I give Indi one if my T-shirts to sleep in, it's huge on her but she's comfy, and then lead her to Beth's bedroom as she is staying the night at Viv's. She clambers into the bed and once she lays her head down on the pillow she can barely stay awake.
"Everyone will be in the living room if you need us okay?"
"Okay. Are you okay?" She says quietly. I take a second to think as I don't really know how to answer her question.
"Yeah, at least I will be. Are you okay?"
"I'm sad. I miss dad."
"I know, I do too. But try to get some sleep okay? It will help."
She nods her head and closes her eyes, I kiss her on the head before turning off the light and walking back to the living room, quietly closing the door on my way out.

When I walk in Gio is in the kitchen tidying and putting things away and Leah is lying on the sofa. She is scrolling on her phone but she looks up as soon as she sees me.
"Hey, you okay?" She says, leaning on her elbow, as I walk over. I shake my head. "Come here." She holds out her arms and I lie down next to her, resting my head on her chest.
"I tried to be brave for Indi but I just..can't, it's too much" I say, bursting into tears.
"Hey, it's okay, Indi is alright now and you know you don't have to put on a brave face for me. It's very normal to be upset."
"I just miss him. And I never even got to say goodbye."
"I know kiddo, I know" she says wiping a tear from my cheek.
"Why him? Why did it have to be him?"
"I don't know. The world works in cruel way sometimes, and it's shit I know." I sob onto Leah's shoulder until Gio comes in.
"Hey baby girl" she says walking over and sitting down next to me and Leah, putting her hand on my knee. "You okay?"
"I'm fine I'm just sad." I sigh.
"I know you are, but that's okay." She runs her thumb back and forth over my leg, calming me down a bit. "Do you want to move to your bed? You'll be more comfortable and you can just fall asleep whenever you get tired."
"But I don't want to be by myself"
"Leah and I will come with you"
"Okay," I say reluctantly, standing up and walk closer to Gio. She puts her arm around me and I lean my head onto her chest, also leaning the rest of my body into her. She places a soft kiss on my forehead before leading me to my bedroom with Leah following closely behind.

I lie on one side of the bed and Gio lies down next to me. "Do you want anything to eat?" Gio asks. I shake my head no. I really don't think I could eat right now, even the thought of food makes me feel sick. "Are you sure? You didn't have dinner or a proper lunch, food might help." I shake my head again. "Okay then" she says putting her arm around me and pulling me closer.
"I'm going to go to my room but you know where I am, I'm not far away. But try to get some sleep okay?" Leah says, standing at the end of the bed.
"Yeah. Can you do me a favour though?"
"Yeah sure."
"Can you check on Indi? Just to make sure she's alright."
"Sure, I'll be back in a sec." She leaves but returns within seconds. "She's all good, fast asleep."
"Okay thank you."
"No problem, now there is nothing to worry about. Please try to get some sleep."
"Okay, I will." She walks round to the side of the bed and gives me a gentle kiss on the forehead before turning around and walking to her room.

I turn around and bury my head into Gio's chest. She puts her arm around me and plays with my hair, something she knows I love. I let a few stray tears fall onto her top, leaving little water marks and making it a little damp. She just holds me tight and wipes away the tears. We aren't saying much at first, but then Gio starts talking.
"Els?" She says, and I look up at her big brown eyes.
"I love you." A smile is printed across my face, for the first time in a while.
"I love you too." I reply and she smiles at me as well. I reach up and kiss her jawline before tucking my head into the crook of her neck. She kisses her top of my head and continues to play with my hair, and eventually it makes me fall asleep.

I am woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of crying. The noise also wake Gio up.
"Who's that?" She asks.
"Shit it's Indi." I say getting out of the bed and walking to Beth's room. I slowly open the door to see India sat in bed with her knees pulled up to her chest. She has her head in her hands and she is crying hysterically.
"Indi?" I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed. India just looks at me, tears in her eyes. "Come here." I hold out my arms for her and she puts her arms around my rib cage, hugging my side. I kiss the top of her head. "What is it?"
"I just miss him." She says in between sobs. Her words break my heart, I can't stand to see her cry.
"I know, Inds. I do too." I tighten my grip on the small girl. I can't help but let a few tears fall myself. I'm trying to stay strong for my younger sister, but I just can't. "Hang on I'll be back in a sec okay?" I say to her before standing up and walking out of the room. I lean against the wall and slowly drop to the floor, bursting into tears. I notice a light turn on in one of the bedrooms and I hear footsteps. Then I see Leah walking over to me, sitting down next to me, and putting her arm around me. "What's wrong?"
"Indi was upset so I went go and help her. But I just can't, it's all too much. I really am trying to be strong for her and be there for her but I can't. How am I meant to make sure she's okay when I'm not even okay myself?"
"I understand, it's okay. You go back to bed, I'll sort India out."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure. Go back to Gio, it's okay." She stands up and then holds out her hands and also pulls me to my feet. "I'll come and check on you after." She then slowly walks into Beth's bedroom. I decide to stay for a minute to hear what happens. I can just about hear what Leah is saying.
"Hey Indi, it's me, Leah. You okay?"
"Not really, I miss my dad."
"I know you do. But it's going to be okay."
I poke my head around the corner to see Leah sitting on the edge on the bed with her arms around my little sister, hugging her tightly. I turn around and walk back to my room smiling slightly.