Straight from the academy

31.

We drop India off at my parents house and now we are driving to the training ground. I have to say I'm slightly nervous.

All the girls will give me attention and say things about my dad. I know that all mean well but it might be kind of overwhelming. I almost just want to not think about it for a while, but I don't think I'll be able to do that with the girls and the staff.

After we have parked the car Gio, Leah and I walk into the clubhouse and walk to the changing room.

I don't even get the chance to get to my locker before I am swarmed by Beth and Viv.

"Hey, you okay?"
"I'm so sorry Ellie."

The questions and comments pile in from all the other girls too.

'I'm fine' is all I manage to get out. I finally get to my locker and get what I need as fast as I can.

I leave the changing room and walk to the lounge, hoping to get some privacy there.

But when I get there, I am bombarded once again, this time by coaches and other members of staff. Can't anyone get any privacy around here?"

They say similar if not the same things, asking if I'm okay, saying sorry, sending their best wishes etc. I know they are being kind and they mean what they say but it just keeps reminding me more and more that my dad really is gone. And it's not helping at all.

I turn around and walk out of the room, needing to get away from everyone in the lounge too. I walk to the toilets thinking that it might be the only place I can be left alone.

I shove the open the door and look at myself in the mirror. I take a deep breath in and out to try and calm myself down. Maybe this was too much to fast.

I take out my phone from my pocket and call Leah.

"Hey where'd you go? I can't find you anywhere."

"I'm in the toilets. The ones next to the changing rooms."

"Okay, hang on I'll be there in 2 seconds."

She hangs up and within seconds she walks through the door.

"What happened?" She says walking over and standing in front of me.

"It just got too much. Everyone was in my face as soon as I walked into the changing rooms and it was just a lot to deal with. Then I went to the lounge to calm down but the same thing happened with the staff. So I came here. It was the only place where I didn't get overwhelmed."

"It's okay, I understand," Leah puts her arm around me. "Why don't we just stay in here until training? We only have a few minutes anyway."

"Yeah, okay. I know everyone means well, but it's just a lot. And I don't really want to think about it to much, I'm sick of being sad and crying."

"I get it. Listen, when your on the pitch, no one will say anything. It can just be you and football."

I nod my head and wipe the couple of tears that fell.

Leah and I wait together in the toilet for training to start.

She also uses this opportunity to do my hair for training. I stand in front of the mirror and lean on the sink whilst Leah puts my hair into two long French plaits. I love it when Leah plaits my hair, and she does so well I'm honestly a little jealous.

Once we are finished and are ready, we walk out of the changing rooms and make our way down to the pitch.

When we get there we put on our boots with the rest of the girls and then warm up.

Training lasts a good couple of hours. Just as Leah had said no one said much to me about my dad. For a couple of hours I was just viewed as a football player instead of a sad, small girl whose dad just died. It was refreshing.

We walk back to the changing room to get showered and changed.

As we are walking Beth slings her arm around my shoulder.

"Hey kid, sorry about before. Just wanted to check you were alright."

"No worries, it's was just a lot that's all. I'm better than I was. I'm just a bit sick of being sat at home being sad. I really needed to come back and play."

"Good I'm glad. I actually do have to tell you and Leah something."

"Go ahead."

"So Viv asked me to move in with her."

"Aw, happy for you Beffy."

"Thanks, hope it's okay. I said I'd move in at the end of the week. I might need some help brining my stuff over if you and Leah don't mind."

"No problem, we're happy to help. I mean not that much will change since you already basically live there." I say sarcastically.

"I mean your not wrong," she says laughing slightly. "But thanks for your help. Im going to go let Leah know."

"Alright." I give her a quick squeeze before she walks off to find Leah.

I have a quick shower before getting changed into some comfy clothes, some joggers and one of Gio's jumpers which I nicked from her locker.

When I'm finished I head to the players lounge to chill for a bit.

"Hey! That's mine!" Gio says as I sit down on a bean bag next to her.

"I didn't have any other jumpers and I was cold! And as if you haven't stolen my stuff." I point to the arsenal joggers she is wearing with my number on them.

"Okay you can wear my jumper." She says shrugging her shoulders.

"I was going to anyway." I say playfully.

She responds by hitting me lightly around the back of the head.