Kyman Oneshots

Raccoon (Fluff)

This may sound very fucking weird or very fucking adorable. You decide. My brain is rotting.

Inspired by some fanart I saw on tumblr. Au where Cartman was cursed and now turns into a raccoon for one week every year.

Liane is on vacation this week and the small creature can't do things around the house by himself, so he stays at Kyles house for the week.

Kyle woke up to a weight on his stomach. He looked down to see a furry creature, a raccoon, sleeping on his stomach over the covers of the bed. Kyle groaned quietly, frustrated that Cartman had slept on the bed after he had been told many times not to while he was in this furry form. Kyle wanted to push him off but at the same time was in awe at the cute bundle of fluff sleeping peacefully on him, he looked so comfortable, what kind of monster would dare to awake him?

Kyle looked at the time and sighed, he had to get up. He gently poked at the raccoon and watched it toss and turn but refuse to open its eyes.

"Eric." Kyle said softly. He stroked the raccoons head then pet his body, well not really petting, just rubbing his hand over it crazily to annoy him. The raccoon stretched his arms out and let out a small yawn, but still did not get up. "Cartman. Get up." Kyle said getting more annoyed. He rubbed his hand across the 'animals' body more harshly. The raccoon hissed then slightly dug his claws into Kyles side. Kyle winced in pain, "okay that's it." He picked up Cartman and threw him off of the bed and onto the floor. Cartman growled but didn't fight back anymore. He clawed at the slightly open bedroom door to open it more then slipped through and left the room.

Kyle followed after him and began cooking breakfast for them both. He made pancakes then made Cartman eat ON THE FLOOR (rude smh) and he ate his at the table. Cartman was the first to finish his food. Usually after he finished he would find a spot in the house to lay down for most of the day, but instead he walked over to Kyles leg and started nuzzling against it and purring. Kyle looked down at him and smiled. He knew he missed being human and hated being the small creature even if it was only for a week.

"I know... I miss you too." Kyle said. He pet the top of Cartmans fuzzy head. "Luckily todays the last day. Just a few more hours."

Kyle finished his food and got ready for the day. Not that he was going to do anything, he just didn't like being in his pajamas all day. For the rest of the day he sat on the couch watching TV, Cartman laying oh his lap asleep, and eventually ended up taking a nap.

When he woke up there was only 30 more minutes left until Cartman turned back to normal. Thank God. He hated when his boyfriend was in his trash panda form, he just wanted him back.

He grabbed Cartmans bag with his clothes in it then put it in the bathroom so Cartman could put them on when he turned back to human(what? When he turns into a raccoon the clothes don't turn with him😒). They ate lunch then the raccoon left to go into the bathroom so he could pull an uno reverse card on this weird ass furry shit.

The bathroom door shut and Kyle turned to see his boyfriend walking to the living room. Eric sat down and Kyle instantly pulled the other closer to him and crashed his lips onto his. Cartman happily returned the kiss. After a few seconds they both pulled away and Cartman grinned, "missed me huh?"

"Shut up," Kyle kissed him again. "Of course I missed you."

Cartman chuckled and smiled.

Um wtf

That felt so cringe to write.

I honestly just wanted to write something where Cartman was a raccoon because that tumblr post I saw💀 So this wasn't rlly Kyman, just Cartman being a raccoon.

665 words