Memories That Still Haunt Us

Chapter Twenty-Four:

I wake at noon the following day. Sometime in the middle of the night, I managed to get up and move into my room, where I changed into comfier clothes. It's gloomy outside once again, making my headache worse. I forgot to close the shutters yesterday. My stomach rumbles, so I force myself out of bed and pour myself a glass of wine. I drink that to silence my stomach, then go back to bed.

I wake again at three, my stomach pleading for food. I roll on my side and stare out the window. The shutters are still open because I keep forgetting to close them. I'm too lazy to care now. The dark clouds move by in the sky. The world outside is quiet.

Pushing the covers off me, I move into the bathroom, where I step into a cold shower, not waiting for the water to warm. I tilt my head back, letting the water run down my face, through my hair, and over my breasts. It trickles down my entire body. My eyes are closed, my mind in a complete fog. I'm slightly embarrassed at some of the things I said to Ellis last night. How unorganized the words were. How desperate they made me appear. I do find him appealing and interesting, but I never intended on telling him that. At least not that blatantly.

I apply a hair mask to my hair and let it soak as I stare blankly at the tile in the shower. White marble. I hope I didn't completely mess everything up last night. But there was clear progress. We almost kissed. We were practically dry humping outside the guest house last night. I remember rubbing against him as his hands held my head fiercely, as his breath was hot against my skin, and as his lips moved along my neck. It was so hot. So fucking hot. I want more. I need more.

Ellis was drunk last night. Did he wake up this morning with immense regret? Or does he want more too?

I scrub my body with a salt scrub that smells like cucumbers. When I step out of the shower, I lather on lotion. I nearly faint from having no food in my stomach and just alcohol. Stars dance around the room. My hand clutches the countertop to prevent myself from falling. Once I start to gain consciousness again, I finish applying my lotion and then move into the kitchen, where I pour myself another glass of wine. I'm all out of food. Going to the store sounds like the worst thing ever right now, so wine must do.

Drinking on an empty stomach makes me feel tipsy almost immediately. I swallow down another glass before moving back into the bathroom, where I blow out my hair, then start to feel dizzy again and crawl into bed, where I sleep for another few hours.

***

When I wake back up, it's dark outside. Beck will already be asleep by now. My hair managed to settle into its natural waves while I slept, despite me blowing it dry just before. My forehead is slightly sweaty, and I wipe my hand across it.

I vaguely remember calling Lake last night, and I know he's going to tell Iris. She's going to be furious with me. I'm sure I'll get a phone call from her sometime in the next few days.

I stand from the bed, my feet hitting the floor. My sleep shirt barely covers my breasts, giving me a fair amount of underboob. My lounge pants are made of a soft silk material and flare out at the bottom. The hunger inside me rumbles loudly with the thunder outside. I can no longer ignore it. It's nearly eleven, and all the stores are closed.

Walking towards the front of the guest house, I open up the door and step outside. It's just beginning to sprinkle. A drop splats right on the tip of my nose. All the lights in the main house are off, besides a dim one lingering in the kitchen.

Someone is still awake. Please be Ellis.

I hurry across the wet lawn, my hair frizzing up with the rain. When I reach the covered patio, I peer in through the glass French doors into the kitchen.