Made for me

Chapter 4

I have never been given a hug like this since my granma died. No one even cared to ask me how was feeling. I know I am being inappropriate in the way I am clinging onto this poor boy, but I really needed this.

He did not let go. If anything, he made the hug tighter, and with each second, I felt better and better.

Then he started patting my back.

"It's OK, Yibo. Just do your best."

I knew if this continued, I would start crying. That's also something I have not done since my granma died.

I pulled away, and he let go without making it awkward.

"Do you feel a little better?"

"Thank you, l do feel a little better."

It wasn't awkward at all. He didn't even seem uncomfortable. Is this because he's....nah! I know a couple of guys who are gay and don't act like this.

"Zhan, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure, go ahead."

"So I am sure you can tell from what I have said, I don't have the best family situation. My family is actually not the warmest you know. So I get very awkward around parents just because I don't know how to relate to my own. Do you mind if I don't come meet your parents tomorrow, I am just scared they may get the wrong impression of me."

"My parents are not shallow like that, for as long as I have known them, I am yet to meet a person that is disliked by them. Don't worry, I won't force you to meet them. If you don't want to, you can just say so."

He said this before the first day I met him, as well. "Just say so, and I will do it."

"You sure do say that a lot."

"Say what?"

"Like if I don't want to do something or want something, I must just say so. Why do you say it so much?"

"Well, isn't that how I can respect your wishes by knowing what they are. If you don't say it, you might live in frustration feeling disregarded."

"How I wish my parents were like that, even if it was for a moment. They never listen, no matter how I communicate or express my feelings."

"I don't know them well enough to say anything about that, but I know that no one is perfect. "

After that, we walked in silence. We got the keys and parted ways without saying much.

Zhan is really a weird guy. He says and does things in ways I don't understand. I almost want to say he is carefree.

That hug from earlier did something to me.  I just can't put my finger on it. It's almost like I can't wait to do it again. I really felt whole in his arms. Maybe it's because I have not gone out in a while.

Also, I have to make the dreaded call to my mom. I don't want to move out of the apartment because if I do, I won't stay with Zhan.

She did not even let it ring twice.

"Hi, mom."

["Hi son, why do you sound down? Is everything ok? Our last conversation didn't go so well. Have you reflected on your actions, and now you are calling to apologize?"]

I just rolled my eyes, happy she can't see me.

"Mom, please, let's not keep doing this. I really don't want to fight with you. Like you just said, I am going through a lot at the moment. I called because I have a proposal. I won't be moving out of the apartment because it's close to the university and I won't need a car if I stay there. So what I wanted to discuss with you is monthly rent."