Happy Birthday
One month later
"Y'all enjoy the outdoors, while I be inside" I refuse to sleep outside, hell no not with bugs and tinks calling on me.
"But its my birthday" Dematius whines.
"Wrong your birthday tomorrow" I state as I continue to help set up their little camping area.
"It won't hurt" Michael defends.
"Why would I pass up a once and a lifetime chance to have the bed fully to myself"
Between Michael, Kara, and Dematius I get little to no sleep. They all want to sleep right under me as if they wake up I might be gone our something.
"Have a great night" I wave goodbye to Michael, Kara, Dematius, Cherish and Journie.
I thought I would give Josh and Ruby a break for the night, so all they are concerned with its JJ for the night. But tomorrow yeah they getting there bad ass kids back, Journie already broke Dematius and Kara tablet, and Cherish catching fits like she grown.
I think I gave them their first ass whoopings and I must admit I enjoyed myself. Since than they been angels. But they still need to take their bad ass back to their parents.
I close the sliding door behind me and walk straight towards my room. I turn on some slow jams, before walking to the Jacuzzi tub turning it on as Tyrse Signs of love making starts to play.
"This my song" I state aloud to myself.
I continue to sang along as I pick out my night grown, than I pull my hair into a messy bun and strip out of my clothes and get inside the warm water letting the jets work their magic.
Closing my eyes I can feel all my muscles begin to relax, and I think back to the moment I lost my baby girl.
It was heart breaking having the doctor come in and tell me that I lost my perfect heaven sent angel.
I would be almost 7 weeks today, sporting a small baby bump. That only I would probably be able to see, because I know how flat my stomach should be.
I would most likely be shopping for her, buying a litttle pink dresses, and other a whole bunch of other things she would mostly grow out of in two months. Just like Dematius, I swear no lie I was buying new clothes for him every month because he was out growing shit.
He never wore newborn, because he was to long for him, but the 0-5 was to big. There was no winning with that boy.
Maybe Aurora would have been a small baby like I was, I was a premie, just a month early. I weighed roughly about four almost five pounds, while Dematius must have took on his father genes he was around six pounds five ounces.
I would have spoiled Aurora rotten, I mean shopping sprees on deck for my baby, every day she would need a new outfit.
I've always wanted a mini me, and I almost had one. It hurts to know I almost had her in my hands, I could feel myself holding, see her smile a deep dimpled smile that her father probably cursed her with. She would have been my everything, her and Dematius would have been my life, my weakness, my strength and I almost had her.
I wanted it so badly to be a lie, a dream, for it to never happened.
But it happened, it wasn't a dream nor a lie. It was confirmed when I went in for a check up to make sure my uterus was still fine.
The nurse did an ultrasound and I stared at the screen that showed my empty and baby less uterus. The place where my Aurora should have been calling home.
