My Guardians

Confrontation

The water in the tub was cold now and I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here. My hands and feet were pruned and the water tinted red from the damage I've done to myself once again. I've heard my phone go off about six times now. I know its either Jordan or Douglas but it doesn't matter, John made it perfectly clear that I wouldn't ever see them outside of school again. At least he doesn't know they're my professors.

I shift myself so I'm sitting up now, the pain in my lower region still hasn't gone away. My legs shake as I stand up holding on to the side bar for support. The gashes on my thighs aren't pretty and I'm not sure that the scars will ever fade. Tears that I didn't know I had left started to pool in my eyes.

I don't want to think about it but the thoughts just won't go away. I can still feel his hands in my hips. Fingernails digging into my skin as he slams into me, grunting phrases like "You like that slut" or "you asked for this, you know you want it".

I should have fought harder; I should have done something, anything to get away! I let him do that to me and now no one will ever want me. I don't even think it matters anymore. I'm not sure how much more I can take.

I grab a towel by the toilet and wrap myself in it. I couldn't stop shaking and I had goosebumps all over. I walked into my room to put on some clothes and right when I was about to get to my dresser my phone went off again. I picked it up off my bed.

Twelve New Messages

Jordan: Hey beautiful, did you make it home alright? 11:47 PM

Jordan: Baby we're getting worried. 12:33 AM

Douglas: Please let us know if you're alright, Jordan here is getting all worked up. 12:35 AM

Jordan: Katie, I have a bad feeling please just talk to me. 12:46 AM

Douglas: I swear if you just fell asleep... 12:53AM

Douglas: If you need help or something has happened we'll help you. We'll do anything for you please just talk to me. 1:29 AM

Jordan: I didn't want to bring it up like this but we saw the bruise on your shoulder, if someone is hurting you tell us. We'll protect you and keep you safe. I know we haven't known each for a long time but you can't deny the feelings we have and how strong they are. 1:32 AM

I couldn't read anymore after that. Protect me? Keep me safe? No. I don't deserve that. How do I even reply to any of this? I have to lie to them again, if John finds out who they are in real life I don't know what he would do to them. I can't be with them it's just to dangerous. Even if I reject them ill still have to deal with them at school though. The only thing that comes to my mind is dropping out. My mom would be so disappointed but it's the only way to protect them. And the bruise? They saw the bruises on my arm? I'm done for now, John said if anyone ever found out... I can't even repeat it.

I didn't respond to them I can't think anymore. It's 3:46 in the morning and I just want to sleep, maybe forever.

**

That Monday my alarm woke me up and guilt settled into the pit of my stomach. I have to face Douglas today. They had texted me all yesterday but I just didn't have it in me to reply. I just have to be strong and tell him that I can't see them anymore. My eyes started to blur at that thought.