His Siren, Her Doctor: Am I Still Yours?

The Lazarus Experiment Part One

Authors Note: I do not own any of the characters or the song, just Amanda. I am trying to add more songs (along with changing songs that make more sense for the scene) and perhaps make a playlist for the book. The new song (1/6/24) is Hypnotic by Zella Day, the previous song was Killshot by Magdalena Bay. Images are from google. Please feel free to recommend songs. 

"I didn't want you to find out this way." The Doctor said as he reached an arm out and tried to get closer to the brunette, who instinctively stepped away from him, crossing her arms to comfort and shield herself away from him. She could barely look at him as she knew that if she did, she would fall for his deep brown eyes and instantly forgive him. "I was going to follow through with my promise, I really was, but then the whole thing with the Daleks and then there were the Carrionites and the Macra." he said, beginning to ramble as his nerves increased. He cursed himself, he should have run full on tests and done a thorough examination the moment she got into the Tardis.  

 Amada shook her head and raised her hand up to stop his rambling. "I understand that Doctor, I was there." Amanda said lowly before glaring harshly at the man in front of her. "That doesn't excuse that you knew. You knew I was Amora from the very beginning, and you made no effort to tell me. You consistently looked me in the eye and lied to me." she said, her anger rising. "You said that you were going to help me but instead you consistently avoided all my questions and only helped yourself." she said accusingly. 

"How was I going to tell you?" the Doctor asked as he tried not to raise his voice, not wanting to anger the girl anymore and causing more problems to this already difficult conversation. "How was I going to tell you that all you knew about yourself, the very limited information that you conjured up was false and that you have nothing-" the Doctor was then cut off by Amanda, who got right up to his face, fury behind her eyes by what he said. 

"Nothing." she said, in a tone mixed with anger and disbelief. The Doctor's eyes widened, and he shut his mouth, knowing that he screwed up. "I have Martha and her family! Her siblings consider me as their older sister. I have friends and fans who care about me! I have a successful career and a social life." she told him before pointing to herself. "I was able to do that! Me as Amanda! Something that I could have never done as Amora. I made a normal life for myself without having to use my charm or any of my abilities, only my skills. I found people who love me and understood me, who never once left my side or judged me. I was happy as a human before you stumbled back into my life." Amanda said as she dug her finger into his chest, the Doctor having to take a step back from her force. 

 The Doctor eyes saddened before he slowly to her hand, hoping to convey his sincerity. "You had an actual family back on Fraitaro Amora, you had your mother and her partners, along with your stepsiblings. You had Rose and Jackie and Mickey a-and Me. You may not have your family anymore, but you had us." he told her before taking a step closer to her. "You have me here with you. I'm here right in front of you." he said, though that did not stop the pressure and pain of everything to dispel from her heart. 

"And where are they now?" Amanda countered back at him, stunning the Doctor. "Rose, Jackie and Mickey are gone with no way of getting back to us. My mother and the others, my whole entire species, who don't forget didn't even accept me as one of their own till their final moments, are dead because of greed and hate. And where were you, Doctor?" she asked him, the heat of her glare burning his hearts. "You were nowhere to be found when I needed you the most." she told him. "I called for you, I sent you countless of messages back on Fraitaro, begging you to come and help us. To come and help me!" she said, tears threatening to fall as she continued to dig her finger into his chest. 

This caused the Doctor to snap. "I tried to find you! I spent months searching for you, going from planet to planet, searching throughout the universe for you! Jackie was distraught when we told her that you were missing and most likely dead. Rose barely left your room and couldn't travel for weeks because everything reminded her of you. I never slept because I kept on dreaming of you dying in my arms and there wasn't anything I could do to get to you. Even when I lost Rose and Jackie, I still did not give up because they wanted me to find you!" he revealed to her. "I don't know about any messages, but I didn't give up on finding you. I held on to the hope that I would find you one day." He said, panting heavily by the end of his speech.