Ad Astra

Chapter 10

I approach the garden cautiousy; I still fear it is somewhere I am not permitted to visit despite Alba and Maria's assurance that the garden belongs to the maids just as equally as the princess. As I approach the garden's entrance, I debate turning around and seeking Alba out for more work, but tears sting my eyes, and my throat continues to feel chalky. The best I can do is walk for a bit until my emotions settle.

I enter through the garden entrance and immediately, I can smell the scent of fresh flowers. The hedges of the garden have been trimmed delicately, and the various roses, daffodils, and tulips blooming light up the garden with vibrant color. I begin my walk slowly, admiring the various hedge work, the marble statues, and the gurgling water fountains. As obnoxiously ostentatious as the garden may be, it is a beautiful sight to behold, and I wonder why I have not come here sooner to escape from the stress of my daily maid duties.

I walk across the grass slowly, listening to the chirping of birds in the distance. My gaze falls on a nest perched on one of the hedge branches. A songbird feeds worms to her hungry young.

I frown, reminded of my mother's disappointment in my progression. I wonder if there was anything I should have told Taika differently, if I should have lied and said I was getting along well with the other maids and Princess Asteria. However, I know it would have been impossible to lie around him, and I desperately needed someone to air my grievances to. Taika was the only one who could possibly understand what I am going through. I know that I need to work harder, and while the knowledge of Taika's faith in me will no doubt give me extra motivation in time, it does not do enough to heal the pain of my solitude in Esterpool. I imagine Kiana must doing just fine; if she has not made friends, she is surviving well on her own. She was made for this. But I'm not so sure I was.

Tears sting the corners of my eyes as I think of how much I miss Tetoa again. I miss eating fresh fruit from the market, I miss feeling the ocean waves rise up to my ankles during high tide, I miss Lagi and Palila's smiling faces, and I even miss Vasa's annoying attempts to impress me. There was at least a community back home, but in Esterpool, I do not feel any familiar sense of warmth or comfort, even if Maria has extended kindness to me when no one else has.

I find myself getting too emotional to keep walking and find a marble bench to sit on. I begin crying into my hands, hoping my palms muffle the sounds of my sobs. With no privacy in the maid's quarters, I have not been able to cry out my frustration since arriving to Esterpool. However, in the solitude of the garden, I let myself cry for a little while, knowing that no one can hear me.

Eventually, I calm myself with deep breaths, trying to focus on the sound of the chirping birds and the wind whistling through the bushes and trees. My sobs cease, and I sniff and wipe tears from my cheeks, beginning to feel slightly better. It is just as my breath is returning to normal that I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder.

I spin around in a panic, assuming I will need to apologize to Alba or whichever other maid has wandered out here on her afternoon break and found me crying. However, I instead come face to face with the princess herself.

"P-Princess!" I stammer, immediately rising from the seat. I try to act like nothing is wrong, though she must notice the way my eyes are glossy and swollen. "I apologize! I did not know you were wandering the gardens! I'll be heading back to the maid's quarters now. I am sorry to have inconvenienced you—"

Her hand suddenly grabs ahold of mine. I try to ignore the blush rising in my cheeks as I feel the warmth of her fingertips against mine. Her hand is incredibly soft, though I suppose I expected no less from a Magnuvian royal. I expect her to tell me that it is no trouble at all and send me on way, but instead, she says something that takes me completely by surprise.