Ad Astra

Chapter 19

I wake in the morning, quick to notice the sound of breathing beside me. I mumble with sounds of waking and turn slowly, so as not to aggravate my wounds. When my gaze falls on Asteria curled up beside me, my heart leaps in its chest. She clutches the covers to her body gently and breathes in and out slowly, looking peaceful with sleep.

Memories of the night before invade my mind; how we spoke, how we both cried, how we fell asleep entangled in each other's arms. I feel heat rise in my cheeks. Though we are no longer holding each other, having separated in the middle of the night, Asteria clearly did not return to her usual bed on the couch. I look down at her pitifully, supposing she must miss the bed that I have claimed for the past several days.

I avert my gaze from Asteria's sleeping form and gaze up at the bed's canopy above me. What joy I just felt a moment ago is now replaced with strange disgust and guilt. I feel as if I should have not allowed last night to transpire. And yet...I technically am not going against my mother's wishes. My mother told me to become close to Asteria by whatever means necessary, and it is clear from our discussion last night that she trusts me. So I push away the fear and guilt for now. If I allow myself to be overcome by those emotions now, they will only worsen when my mother plots out the princess's demise.

Beside me, Asteria stirs. I stiffen and attempt to sit up. I hiss slightly in pain, but it is much more bearable than it has been the past few days. I turn my head slowly to where Asteria rests, finding her blinking slowly. She lets out a loud yawn.

"Good morning, Fe," she murmurs, still groggy with sleep.

"Good morning, Asteria," I respond.

Asteria glances around slowly, most likely making the same realization I did a few minutes prior. "Oh. I had not meant to spend the whole night here," Asteria admits.

"I don't mind. It is your bed, after all," I say. "You were sleeping so peacefully. You must have missed it."

Asteria grins at my response. Slowly, she shifts her body upward to sit beside me in bed. "Dr. Thornton should be here soon. How are you feeling today?" she asks.

"I feel better each day," I respond. "There is still some pain when I turn the wrong way, but it is certainly becoming more bearable."

Asteria nods thoughtfully. "If I were to receive the doctor's permission, would you be willing to accompany me on a walk in the garden?"

I nod eagerly. "I would like nothing more." It has been too long since I have felt sunlight on my skin. Even though Asteria has done her best to keep me occupied while I have stayed in her chambers, it is beginning to feel like a prison of sorts. I long to leave the walls of this building and walk the estate freely, as silly as it sounds.

"Then I shall ask after your check-up," Asteria decides.

A knock sounds at the door.

"That is probably Alba coming to dress me," Asteria notes. I watch as she scrambles out of the bed with urgency to greet Alba at the door. I am grateful for it. Though my mother would most likely not have been upset by me remaining so close to Asteria last night, I am sure Alba would have had my head to find us both sleeping in the same bed.

Just as Asteria predicted, Alba enters the bedroom with the princess a few moments later.

"Good morning, Miss Fe," Alba says as she greets me. "How are your injuries?"

"They are improving," I say.

"Perhaps you will be able to return to your duties soon, then," Alba notes.

"As soon as I receive the doctor's approval, I would be happy to return," I agree.

It is a brief expression, but enough to gather my attention. As Alba and I make mentions of my eventual return to the maids' quarters, I can see Asteria's eyes widen in a look of shock and concern. I ignore it for now.