You Stole My Breath (YSMB)

Unsettled Things

Rachael's Point of View

I whisper "Hannah..." as we sit in silence in my room. She left school early and came to my house after her last statement on the phone. Currently, I try to maintain eye contact while she avoids mine. Gradually, tears begin to form in her eyes, revealing the intensity of her distress. She bites her lips, trying to keep herself composed despite her overwhelming emotions.

Witnessing her vulnerability created a fleeting wave of guilt over me, but only for a slight moment as I gather the courage to break the silence.

"Why are you crying?" I inquire, my voice gradually growing louder. The knot in my throat tightens, burdening me with the weight of our situation. My voice trembles slightly as I continue, "Do you think I'm not hurt in this?"

She meets my gaze with narrowed brows, her eyes filled with a mix of pain and confusion, "Hurt? Why would you be hurt when you set all this upon yourself? If you were only honest with yourself from the beginning, this wouldn't have happened." 

As she blamed me, I couldn't help but back away from her, feeling warm tears welling up in my eyes. As the tears blurs my vision, I kept my gaze fixed upon her. With my voice trembling on the brink of breaking, I muster the courage to respond. "Why are you putting all the blame on me? Hey, don't forget, you're here too!"

"I was willing to let so much slide because of you." I continue, swallowing the mounting tensions as I maintain my composure. "Do you truly believe everyone accepted my choice of being with you? You're right, saying yes to you was my decision! But I'm not talking about just being in a relationship with you. I'm also talking about our friendship." 

Taking a moment to catch my breath, I wipe away the tears with my trembling hands. My lip quivers as I speak breathlessly, pushing through the overwhelmed emotions. "No matter how difficult things became, even when it strained my relationships with Sam and Austin, and how others perceived you, I simply pushed... pushed all those concerns aside."

"I never asked you to do that," She cut in, her teeth gritted with frustration. 

"I didn't need you to ask," I shout shakily, and more warm tears cascade down my cheeks. "It's because I didn't want other people's views to affect my view of you. You are your own person, and I didn't need others to create who you are." 

I release a quivering breath, my mouth is slightly open as my nose begins to congest. I take a shallow breath before pressing on, once again, "I've always seen the good in people, and it's because everyone deserves a second chance in life. I decide to stay by your side and stick to your side. I thought being close to you would show me the opposite of what other views you. But the more I stay, the more I got hurt. Even the times when I try to speak to you, you push it aside and act like I'm being dramatic."

She gazes at me, speechless and unsure of what to say. Her eyes search mine, and she whispers softly, "I never intended to hurt you..."

I press my lips together as I absorb her words, attempting to stifle the emotions welling up within me. My gaze averts away from her as tears gather, threatening to spill over more. I took a shaky breath, before firmly saying, "It's time to end this." My voice lingers with a mix of sadness and resolution. 

Her panicked response is immediate, her hands grasping mine with a desperate intensity, yet careful not to inflict any harm. Our eyes meet, and I see the distress reflected in hers, pleading for a different outcome. 

"No!" She exclaims, her voice trembling with anxiety. "Please, don't end us. We can find a way to solve this, let's work it out together." 

Wait, what?