Tabula Rasa

Chapter 34

20 minutes earlier...

Calina picked the lock on the rooftop access door, relying on feel rather than sight. She'd stashed her motorbike in an alleyway two blocks over, then scaled the back of her and Matt's apartment building under the cover of darkness. Suddenly waving a flashlight around up here would defeat all her attempts at stealth.

And she needed to be stealthy - if Volkov's men were watching this place, she couldn't let them see that she'd returned.

The lock gave way with a quiet *snick* and Calina slipped down the stairs into Matt's apartment. It was empty, as expected. At this time of night, he'd be out Daredevilling, and would be gone for another few hours at least.

She dumped her bag on the floor and flicked on the lights...then stifled a laugh at the sight of the new sofa sitting in the middle of the living room - with the plastic wrap still on it.

"...the new couch was delivered yesterday. But I couldn't bring myself to sit on it. It feels like our couch. And it didn't feel right for it to be there, in the apartment, without you...the place feels so lifeless now. So cold and empty without you..."

The suppressed laughter turned into a sob and she covered her mouth to hide the sound. Her emotions were all over the place. And all the joy and love and guilt and fear that she was feeling kept spilling over as tears - she'd spent half of the four-hour ride here crying beneath her motorcycle helmet. Thankfully the roads were fairly deserted, so her blurred vision hadn't endangered anyone apart from herself.

She just...needed to be here. Despite her annoyingly fragile emotional state, and her barely-healed wound, and the risks involved...she needed to be here.

She needed to see Matt.

Yelena had freaked out at the idea, of course. "It's too dangerous! Volkov knows you spent months living in that apartment building - and now that we got rid of the trackers, its the only place he has to start his search for us."

"I get that, Yelena," Calina had argued. "But I still need to speak to Matt."

"So call him!"

"I've been calling him. For hours! He won't pick up."

The moment she'd finished watching the footage of Matt's confession...she'd pressed play and watched the whole thing again, unable to believe the words spilling from his lips.

"I deluded myself that I didn't feel this way about you..."

"You need to wake up so that I can tell you I love you."

"You're...everything."

"There was just something about you, standing there on that rooftop"

"I'll always be here - if you'll have me."

"Please come back to me..."

Each line was a euphoric, impossible jolt of pure joy to her heart. And watching him say those words while clutching at her hand and stroking her cheek and pulling her into his arms to hold her all night had been like watching all her dreams play out before her.

He loved her.

He really and truly loved her.

He'd dropped everything to come to her. He'd put his life in the hands of women he barely knew and didn't trust, and he'd bared his heart and his soul to her.

And then she'd ghosted him for a week and a half.

She couldn't imagine how he must be feeling. He must think she was still angry with him. That she was still hurt by what Foggy said in the bar and was ignoring him on purpose.