Tabula Rasa

Chapter 39

Halfway through updating Calina on the pheromone case, Matt realised she'd fallen asleep. She was still tucked against him as they lay on their sides, their legs entwined. Matt had been playing with the fingers of her hand while they filled each other in on the last three weeks, but now that hand was limp, and Calina's deep, even breaths stirred the air around him.

He smiled indulgently and kissed the top of her head, glad that she was able to get some rest. After stifling a yawn earlier, she'd admitted that she hadn't been sleeping well without him. "I was wide awake again at 5am this morning," she'd explained. "Then there was the four-hour ride to get here...it's all catching up with me."

"Four hours, huh?" It was the only clue she'd ever let slip about the location of the new Widow's base. Although it didn't exactly narrow things down. "Would that be four hours north, south or west of here?" he asked.

"Why? Are you planning to track me down and show up under my window with a boom box over your head?"

"What?"

"Oh, its from a romantic comedy we all watched recently. It came out in the eighties so I thought you might have seen it before your accident."

"Sweetheart, the only movies I was watching as a kid involved either Bruce Lee or spaceships."

"So no rom-coms, then."

"No. Although I'd watch one with you now - you could tell me what's happening on screen. I've missed hearing you describe the world to me."

"I've missed that too. I've missed talking with you, and reading to you, and being here in this apartment, just the two of us."

"Me too. It's not the same here now, without you. I've been avoiding the place, to be honest - I've spent most of my time either out as Daredevil or in the office working on the pheromone case."

"How's that going?" Calina asked, trying to suppress another yawn.

Matt should have known she wouldn't be able to stay awake while he talked through their progress - or rather, their lack of progress - in tracking down the people behind the pheromone drug. It wasn't exactly the most scintillating conversation topic for 3am.

Matt eased out of bed, careful not to wake Calina, and toed off his heavy boots. He gazed at her still, peaceful figure as he unzipped his suit jacket and shrugged out of his pants. He was looking forward to getting some sleep next to her - she wasn't the only one who'd been struggling with insomnia again - but a small part of him was disappointed that all they'd be doing is sleeping. That kiss earlier had started to heat up just before Calina's tears had gotten the better of her. It had made him hopeful for a replay of what had happened the last time they were in this bed together.

Or even something more.

But he never wanted to pressure her. He would take his cues from her and go at her pace, no matter how slow that might be.

They'd never really spoken in depth about her missions when she was a Widow. But the hints that she'd dropped over the past few months suggested that she'd been intimate with her targets - all while her will and choices had been subjugated by the mind control serum.

He could only imagine what that kind of violation would do to a person. And he didn't want to do anything that might remind her of that time.

The last time they were together, he hadn't been thinking clearly about that aspect of her past. He'd been too vulnerable, too caught up in his own fears. He'd latched on to her in the midst of the terror and uncertainty of his deafness, and he'd rushed them into an intimacy she might not have been ready for.