Tabula Rasa

Chapter 54

It didn't take Calina long to pack. She'd been living a pretty spartan existence for the past few weeks so there wasn't much in her sleeping area - just a set of headphones, a couple of books, and her clothes.

And her neoprene suit, the Widow's bites, and the guns that fit in her thigh holsters.

She studied the items strewn over her bed - the physical remnants of her life as a Black Widow. It was a life she was letting go - gladly and willingly - but if felt wrong, somehow, to just throw this stuff away.

She was a Black Widow. She always would be. It was too ingrained in her. The training, the time in the Red Room, all the missions she'd taken part in...they'd shaped her. They formed too substantial a part of her past to ignore. And just getting rid of her Widow's gear wouldn't somehow erase that part of her. And it wouldn't eradicate the violent, dark fragment of her soul that would probably always reside somewhere deep within her.

So there was no need for some symbolic destruction of her gear. She didn't even feel the need to throw it in the trash. She'd just take it and store it away - like she'd done the first time she'd come to New York.

Just in case.

She'd lived through enough worst case scenarios to know it was better to be prepared. She didn't want to ever fight again. She didn't want to ever have to don this suit and load up her guns...but life didn't always give you what you wanted.

Matt found her a few minutes later just as she finished stuffing her suit in her bag.

"You ready to get out of here?" he asked.

She zipped up the bag and hefted it over her shoulder. "More than ready," she smiled.

Matt grabbed the small suitcase by her feet and they headed downstairs together. She stopped by Inessa's room on the way out to see how she was doing, and said goodbye to the other Widows milling around the safe house on the way out. But they were happy 'goodbyes', not laden with fear of for each others' safety or uncertainty about whether they'd ever meet again.

They were all starting a new life. It was exciting.

Calina felt that excitement grow as she stepped out into the bright sunshine, the cheery weather reflecting the hope and happiness bubbling inside her.

Until Anya appeared.

The other Widow came jogging down the steps behind her, ubiquitous tablet in hand. "Calina! Hold up!"

Calina and Matt paused on the sidewalk. "What's wrong?" Calina asked.

"I've been going through Ranieri's laptop in more detail."

"You can take a day off you know, Anya. Have some fun. Celebrate a little."

"This is fun for me."

Matt looked away to hide his smile at Anya's slightly confused reply. Calina didn't bother hiding hers. "So what did you find?"

Anya hesitated, glancing in Matt's direction. Calina quickly put her mind at ease. "It's okay. He knows about Ranieri. I'm not keeping secrets from him anymore."

"Oh. Okay then. Well, its about the guy who dosed you a few months back. The one who tried to get you to kill that Governor."

"Aminev?"

"Yeah. Ranieri was looking for him."

"What do you mean? When? Before or after Aminev drugged me?"

"Before. When Aminev defected from Volkov's group, Volkov complained to Ranieri about it. Ranted all about how no one was loyal anymore, yadda yadda yadda. Ranieri immediately hired a PI to look for Aminev."