Tabula Rasa

Chapter 28

Matt tried to hold on to his positivity over the next 24 hours. But it became increasingly difficult as the doubts started to multiply inside him.

It all started with a text message.

Or rather, with an ignored text message.

I'm sorry I wasn't here when you left. Can you let me know you arrived okay? I'll be safe out there, if you promise to do the same. Matt.

He sent it straight after he listened to Calina's voicemail. But he didn't get a reply.

He figured she must be tired from her journey to...wherever it was the Widows called home. He figured she would respond in a few of hours when she'd gotten some rest. But by mid morning, there was still nothing. So he sent another message.

Hey, please text when you get the chance, to let me know you got there okay. I'm in the office all day, so I'll have my phone with me.

Nothing.

And after several more hours of compulsively checking his messages, unease started to grow. Was she safe? Had she made it back to the Widow's base? Had gotten in trouble en route?

Or was something else going on?

He replayed her voicemail again, hunting for any clues that might explain the doubts he was now experiencing. Doubts about whether she was telling the truth when she said she'd be home soon.

But her voice sounded...fine. Completely normal. There was no hint of anger, or evidence that she was upset or hurt.

She sounded fine.

But she'd been trained her whole life to pretend, hadn't she? She'd been trained to lie. To create a false persona, and manipulate people with words. And he'd seen first hand how easily she was able to deceive him...

So maybe he couldn't trust her words, or the calm tone of voice she spoke them in.

He listened again, even more carefully.

"I'm sorry to leave like this, but Yelena called. The Widows found something - about what happened to me - and they need my help with it. So I'm headed back to the base for a few days.

I 'll keep in touch - as much as I can.

I ...um... ....

Nevermind.

Take care, Matt. Be safe out there."

That pause...She'd brushed it away with a murmured 'Nevermind', but there'd been a distinct pause. And the more he listened, the more he convinced himself that that pause was in fact filled with everything she wanted to say, but couldn't.

Or wouldn't.

That pause was the real message. The rest was fake. She was just pretending that her sudden departure was all about Widows' stuff and had nothing to do with his rejection of her.

Just like he pretended last night that he hadn't rejected her at all.

Shit!

He needed to drop his pretence, so that she'd drop hers. He needed to be honest, so that she would be honest in return.

He still didn't know what to say about what happened between them. But it was starting to feel imperative that he say something. So after getting home from work, he dialled her number.