Anything But Beautiful » a.r.

Chapter 19: I Can't Fix This

❌ TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE ❌

• Alex's POV •

Where the hell is Will? God I shouldn't have came here. I had already slugged down three cups of various alcohols and honestly I felt totally fucked up.
"Alex, babe. Nice seeing you here.". That voice. Who's is it?
"What you ain't gonna talk to your babygirl?"
I turned around and it was, of course was Delanie.
"Oh. It's you."
"C'mon. You're whore isn't around," she cocked a smile. God did I miss that smile. No I can't think like that. I'm in love with Sage.
"Babe, c'mon," she's moved closer to me and is now kissing my neck.
"Please stop," I said before letting out a moan.
"You know you missed me." She said putting her lips on mine. Her kisses were sloppy. But I kissed her back. I grabbed her hair and pulled her into me. I missed her messiness. I missed her.

• Sage's POV •

The guy who drugged my alcoholic beverage carried me up the stairs and into a random room. He threw me on the bed and instantly locked the door.

I didn't know what was going to happen.
"I'm gonna make you feel real good, don't move though. Or I'll punish you."
"Please don't do this," I couldn't move but I somehow slipped out those words.
"You'll be okay babe," he said removing his shirt. His pants showed he had a bulge and soon the pants were gone.
"Please. I don't even know your name."
"What a whore. You would fuck me if you did know my name? Disgusting.". Before I could say anything else he climbed on top of me and covered my mouth. He pulled up my dress exposing the fact I went without panties. I was going to surprise Alex when we got home. But screw him. He isn't here to help me. Before I had time to react he rammed his bulge into my entrance. I winced at the pain. He was sloppy and messy. I was pinned to the bed and couldn't do anything. His thrusts were rough and unrhythmic. I just wanted this night to end.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Alex. It was Alex. Thank god.

He pushed the guy off of me then punched the hell out of his face. Alex picked me up and carried me out to the car. He locked the doors and went back inside for a few minutes. I don't know why. I didn't dwell on it though. I was still mad at him for not coming back after finding Will. I fell asleep with my head against the window.

• Alex's POV •
After Delanie and I had a quicky my mind had finally settled down and I realized what I had done. I ran out of the room and ran to the living room. The couch was empty, "where the fuck?"
"Oh that sleazy girl in the skimpy dress you walked in with and Caleb?"
"Sure yeah whatever. Where are they?"
"Well you went and fucked Lanie so she started grinding on Caleb. They started making out and they went upstairs to the guest room before things got to heated.

Something isn't adding up. Sage wouldn't do that. Would she? No. Well maybe she would. She wouldn't have thought I would be with Delanie, but I guess we are both wrong.

"Guest room?"
"Yup."
I nodded at the complete stranger and ran up the stairs and into the first room. Nobody. The second room was locked. It must've been the guest room. My adrenaline was pumping so all I had to do was slam my body against the door. It was instantly unlocked and I almost vomited at the sight I saw. Sage was pinned against the bed and was being raped, by my friend Caleb. The one I haven't seen since he moved to Cali.

I instantly pushed him off and punched him in the face. I then pulled down Sags's dress and carried her out and put her in the car then locked the doors. I was not done with Caleb.

I walked into the guest room and he was just now waking up from his quick nap. I grabbed his neck and pushed him against the floor of the room.
"What the fuck, Caleb? I mean you were raping my girlfriend for god sakes!"
"Alex? Dude I didn't know."
"I don't give a shit if you knew. You were raping her. We are going to press charges. Oh and also," then I punched him straight in the temple.

I walked back to the car and got in. Sage was sleeping so peacefully and I've just ruined her life. And for what? A party? One hook up with Lanie? Totally not worth it. I ruined her life. I shouldn't have done this. I should've never sat in front of her at that Starbucks. I should've never called her into the break area tent thing and kissed her scars. I should've never made love to her after asking her to be my girlfriend. I should've never brought her to that damn frat house and I should've never left her alone.

I am the absolute worst thing to ever happen to her. I've done so many things wrong and I can't fix it this time. I can't tell them to "die fat" via Twitter. I can't "expose" them. I can't fix this. I can't hit the undo button or the delete one.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't let her leave since I know this might push her over the edge. I have a spare room. I might just have her stay there until she gets better and gets a job. I want the best for her, but obviously I'm not it. I'm no good for her. I'll only cause pain for her. I'll be the reason she can't sleep at night. Wait nevermind I am the reason she won't be able to sleep at night because this is all my fault.

I should've never let her just sit on the couch. I should've brought her with me. I should've came back instantly when I couldn't find will. I should've been there for Sage instead of having my tongue down Delanie's throat. I should've been there to save Sage instead of pile driving Delanie.

I shouldn't have left Sage.

I fucking promised her I'd protect her.

I told her she'd be safe with me.

She wasn't safe. Not one bit.

And dammit I caused this.
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