The bad boys good girl

Chapter 14

Hunter pov

Seeing those cuts on her made me wanna kill someone. Then as she spoke and told me how she felt I couldn't contain it anymore, so I let the tears go.

I had no words. At that moment the only thing I could do was simply cry. She walked away with tears and I found a spot that was blocked by the plants and just fell apart.

I was the reason for all her suffering. Im the reason for all those horrifying scars,! for her wanting to die. It's all my fault. Im that much of a horrible person . I can't stand myself even more. I mean I already knew I was hurting her but I never thought I broke her to a point where she wanted to die.

"Whose there?" I heard the custodians voice

Great now he's gonna find me crying all alone in a garden. I immediately wiped my face and stood up.

"Yeah I was just leaving" I said walking out.

I feel pretty horrible and honestly I wouldn't mind a beat down. I wouldn't mind death. I wouldn't mind anything. I deserve whatever is to come my way.

I stand in the building and my eyes get watery again. I should just leave before someone sees me. I walk to the lot get my bike and head home.

I get home and immediately walk upstairs before my mother sees me crying. The last time I cried was when I found out my father was leaving for London.

I was so frustrated with myself and the pain I was feeling inside was unbearable. I clutched my heart feeling as I was about to die. I let out a low groan and swung my fist right into the wall making a huge hole and a loud bang.

"Hunter baby, you okay?" my mother said rushing into my room

She looked around and took in everything. My face was damp with tears as I stood there huffing in such anger and pain.

"Oh my love, what's the matter,"

She said coming towards me. I looked at her and shook my head, she can't come near me I'm such a horrible person. She frowned at my actions and came in to give me a hug. I tried resisting her but I just ended up crying more and hugging her back like a little baby.

"Shhh, don't cry, it's okay everything's gonna be okay"

"No, not if she dies. If she dies it'll be my fault. Im a horrible person mother. I can't live with myself." I cried out

"Who's gonna die, no one is dying baby" she said rubbing my back

"No, she prays to die because of me. She hates me--- she hates me to the core"

"Who are we talking about here?"

"C-Celeste, the girl who was here when you were drunk.. mother it hurts so much" I said holding my heart

"I can't say I remember how she looks but it doesn't matter. What I can see is that you are in love with this girl. Don't you worry baby she's not gonna kill herself and as much as you may feel that you're suffering or you're the cause of her suffering it's all just temporary, you should go and talk to her. Tell her you're sorry and tell her how much you love her because frankly you're in it deep. Make it up to her, swear you'll never hurt her again and keep your word,"

She held me for a while then kissed my forehead.

"Here ill leave you be, take a rest and when you're ready go to her." she said.

She left my room and I sat there sulking for a while. After I felt I was done with the Niagara falls I went and took a shower.

Showers usually calm me down and make me feel a little better but this time I just couldn't shake off the pain. I got out and dressed myself then lied on my bed thinking of what she said.

'I'd rather have this pain then to feel the pain life has brought upon me' I groaned in agony. The pain is never ending. I really felt like I was going to die, I mean at least I wanted to at the moment.

I got up and rummaged through my stuff looking for a blade. She did say it makes it feel better...

Finally I found an old blade. I slid it past my skin softly not leaving a mark yet. I was hesitant but determined. I got ready to endure the feel of it when someone walked in my room.

I couldn't believe it when I saw her. I nearly jumped for joy to seeing her standing in my bedroom. Even though she looked like a hot mess with her hair all crazy and her red nose I still couldn't believe she would see me.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked grabbing the blade

"I-uh- the pain-- the pain won't go away"

"You think cutting is gonna help? You were telling me to stop and now you're doing it!"

"You said-" I barely got three words out and all I felt was a sting on my cheek.

That's right smarty pants she slapped me.

"Don't you dare! Im obviously not a good example Hunter," she said sitting on my bed holding my hand lightly

" Don't you ever try harm yourself because you feel hurt. I know I might sound like a hypocrite but trust me the pain doesn't die down... you just feel worse" she said pulling the sleeve of the sweater to reveal some brand new ones

My heart sank and for a second I thought I died and gone through hell. I was really frustrated now and I wanted to punch someone, or something.

"After this morning... I uh, had a blade in my locker and I used it because of this 'pain'... I completely lost it this morning and I didn't know what to do. I felt like today was the day, the day that I actually take the initiative and just end my pathetic life. I was mad at you, at Jeremy, heather, and most of all myself. So I cut and I cut deep, deeper than ever and geez was that stupid. I mean I didn't die, I just had a deep cut in my arm and I was bleeding all over the place. I was so mad, I thought maybe I can't die because even death thinks I'm too worthless to die, maybe because I'm so stupid that I can't even end my own life even if I desperately wanted to. Then I thought over and realized that I couldn't die, not because I'm invincible no, but because life has something for me or there's something waiting for me and I can't leave this life without doing what I have to first. To he honest this is extremely exhausting and irritating and I just want to tear down the whole world." she finished falling back on the bed

She shut her eyes and sighed that sad sigh of hers.

"You know when I'm frustrated and mad I uh- hit something or someone... and it helps. Just let out the frustration and anger on that one thing and after you'll feel a but better."

"Dude I'm not gonna beat someone up because I'm mad."

"You're not beating someone, you're hitting me. Okay how'd you feel when you slapped me just now?"

"I don't know, it was just a soft slap to snap you out of your mental state."

"Soft my ass! that thing hurt so much" I said rubbing my probably red cheek

She giggled and sat up "I'm sorry"

"No don't apologize, I deserved that. But tell me, did it feel good to hit me for once?"

"Y-yeah I guess..."

"Okay then," I said getting up "hit me as much as you want as hard as you want anywhere you want except for you know... but ANYWHERE you want until you feel better." I said

She folded her hands together and looked away. Dear mother of god was she beautiful! Fight it Hunter, fight it.

"Come on try it" I said pulling her up

"Hunter I just don't th--"

I quickly cut her off, held her waist and moved the hair that lied on her face behind her ear "don't think, just act"

I took her hand and fisted it. She looked hesitant but I gave her an assuring look.